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Do I tell her I fancy her?

(41 Posts)
lucyandsal Thu 06-Dec-18 14:50:28

I've fancied her for ages,she is someone who I work with,we've socialised together.
I really fancy her and think she's great basically.
Shall I bite the bullet and tell her ?

kaldefotter Thu 06-Dec-18 14:52:48

It depends. Has she given the impression that the feeling is mutual? If she doesn't feel the same way, what will the consequences be? If your ego is dented or your feelings are hurt, will you be able to go back to how things were before? Will she?

lucyandsal Thu 06-Dec-18 14:54:50

I'm not sure really.
I feel like we have a "connection"
It's hard to tell.

AmbeRiddle Thu 06-Dec-18 14:55:30

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

lucyandsal Thu 06-Dec-18 14:55:39

I don't even know how to broach the subject either

hellsbellsmelons Thu 06-Dec-18 14:56:28

I she single as well?
Maybe ask her out for a drink and see how that goes.
'I fancy you' sounds a bit naff.

empmalswa Thu 06-Dec-18 14:58:34

Is she single?

TrippingTheVelvet Thu 06-Dec-18 15:00:46

Dating people you work with never ends well. I ignored that advice in the past and lived to regret it.

lucyandsal Thu 06-Dec-18 15:03:22

Yeah she's single.
She's been chatting to me how she's worried she will never find anyone and how the lesbian pool around here is drygrin

lucyandsal Thu 06-Dec-18 15:03:43

We work in same building but not on same team or floor.

unique1986 Thu 06-Dec-18 15:05:23

Ask her for a festive date.

CryptoFascist Thu 06-Dec-18 15:16:05

Maybe just ask her if she fancies a drink at the weekend? See whether it feels datey or not when you're out. Might be better to hedge your bets as you have to work together.

lucyandsal Thu 06-Dec-18 15:24:41

How will I know if it feels datey?
I'm rubbish really on picking up on signals etc

unique1986 Thu 06-Dec-18 15:32:13

Eye Contact..

lucyandsal Thu 06-Dec-18 16:09:22

We do seem to have eye contact but it's hard to tell if that's because she likes me or just looking at me grin

decentchap Thu 06-Dec-18 16:12:09

How does she know the Lesbian pool is not deep ?
Ask her how she knows and say thats not your impression - does she fancy a drink some night ?
I'm a bloke - what would I know?

lucyandsal Thu 06-Dec-18 16:17:19

I think I need to start also dropping hints I'm bisexual.
Hoping she reads minds isn't helping.

maximumcarnage Thu 06-Dec-18 16:20:20

You're single, she's single. You get on well. Sounds a no brainer to me. Ask her out. Doesn't even have to be a date explicitly. Just socialising together in an out of work environment might open up opportunities.

SpoonBlender Thu 06-Dec-18 16:22:49

She's told you she's after someone, the someone would be a lesbian, and you said nothing? Not even "Hey, I happen to be a lady who likes a lady, that lady is you, fancy it?"

I did that once in my teens, worked perfectly. We had a lovely summer.

lucyandsal Thu 06-Dec-18 17:16:32

I know !! I should have said I'm finding it hard to find a nice woman!
You know at the time when you start getting nervous and shaky

SendintheArdwolves Thu 06-Dec-18 18:57:40

Seriously. Grow up and ask her out.

You came on here so we would all gee you up and tell you to do it and give you a loads of encouragement and tell you how invested we are and how great its all going to be - can't you just imagine that's happened and get on with it already?

(honestly, people who are all "But I don't even know HOW to ask someone out omg do you think she LIKES me I'm so scared can't someone do it for me???" give me flashbacks to high school....)

Whooptydoo1 Thu 06-Dec-18 19:03:54

Maybe she isn’t sure if you’re into girls, that’s why she said about the lesbian pool being not very deep, I think that was maybe her “fishing” in the lesbian pool to see what you’d say IYSWIM? I’d go for it, ask her if she’d like to go for a drink after work or something? If she looks at u in horror u can just say u meant as friends

Shybi Thu 06-Dec-18 19:06:39

What they said 👆

SuperSuperSuper Thu 06-Dec-18 19:26:22

Y'know what? Life is short. Go for it.

5amWakeUo Thu 06-Dec-18 20:13:21

If it is someone you work with, ask her out for coffee or drink after work. If accepted, see what happens but err on the side of caution. If she says no drop it and act very cheery and matter of factly hence forth - don't try again.

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