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Relationships

What does true love feel like?

36 replies

MidnightStars · 16/12/2017 14:30

Well just that really. How do you know what true love feels like? In the past I've thought I was but I think it was more lust than love? So how many times you been In love and how did you know?

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Blackteadrinker77 · 16/12/2017 14:33

If you have to ask then you are not in love.

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Blackteadrinker77 · 16/12/2017 14:35

But to answer your question I have been in love twice.

My first husband, we met at age 14, married at 18 was widowed at 25. And my second husband, met at 26 been together ever since.

You just know.

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allegretto · 16/12/2017 14:37

You just know.
I disagree. Some people never have that certainty.

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AnneLovesGilbert · 16/12/2017 14:40

Like coming home, fireworks sparking off in your blood stream, wanting to hold them so tight you squish into them and become one person, a warm glow in your chest when you think of them, true peace and calm when you're with them, wanting to make them happy and knowing there's no one else you'd ever want to be with.

You really do just know. And you love yourself more because you get to see yourself through their eyes.

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MidnightStars · 16/12/2017 15:19

black no I'm not in love. I think I was with my childhood sweetheart but then I was young and naive.

Anne that's such a lovely description! I hope one day I feel like this for someone.

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wintersdawn · 16/12/2017 15:25

It's what's left when the 'lust' period has passed that makes you not want to look for that first dizzy period again.
It's the fact that a habit that would make you want to scream at someone else doesn't seem to really bother you with them. It's the person who can walk in the door and within an instance understand you need a take out rather than to start cooking/ take the kids up to bath/ know they can steal their own half an hour of peace and you'll keep the kids away.
It's what means an argument or difference of opinion isn't the end of the relationship. It's the understanding that all relationships aren't perfectly balanced all the time but are in the long run.

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NotTheFordType · 16/12/2017 15:29

I think when it's actual proper love, that person makes you want to be your best self. You inspire each other. And you feel you don't have to play games, you can reveal your innermost thoughts and feelings and feel safe with that.

I only ever experienced that with my late husband.

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MidnightStars · 16/12/2017 15:45

That's what I would like to think and hope ford that they bring out the best in you. To have someone supportive too. I've never had that.

I think I'm a hopeless romantic who has only kissed frogs so far. Hopefully my Prince charming is not far away!

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AnneLovesGilbert · 16/12/2017 16:12

That's lovely Ford, and so true. For me, in this, my second marriage, it's about deciding I love him more than I might find other things annoying.

When my XH was snoring I literally wanted to smother him to make it stop and would spend hours awake livid. When DH does it (thankfully not very often) I'm glad he's sleeping well, I want him to be comfortable and wake up feeling rested, so I give him a gentle shove, put my ear plugs in and find the love still overpowers the short term inconvenience.

Long may that last...

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Coyoacan · 16/12/2017 16:42

That's lovely Ford, and so true

Indeed!

I think too that there are different stages to being in love. There are roughly two years of love's young dream, followed by a deeper and maturing affection when it is the right person.

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Iooselipssinkships · 16/12/2017 18:42

You'll never fall in true love if you're looking for Prince Charming, he's usually a psycho who will snog you in your sleep!

True love is having the talk about getting cremated/buried together in tender old age and where the Ashes will be scattered forever more...

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MidnightStars · 16/12/2017 19:35

loose don't worry I'm not hunting a Prince charming down! Obviously I know it will happen when I least expect.

I personally wouldn't judge true love on being buried together/cremated but that's just me. I'd say that more of a been together years like my grandparents and thats what they would talk about

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mindutopia · 16/12/2017 20:10

I think it's about knowing someone is really and truly there for you and they're your person above anyone else in the world.

I would say that I thought I've been in love twice before I met my husband (two serious long-term relationships, like 4-5 years each). But with my dh it was different. He really and truly had my back and we just had a connection like there was no one else but us in the world. That's only deepened since we had kids and have been through massive life stresses together over the years. 10 years down the line and I am more in love with him than I was than when we were dating.

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MidnightStars · 16/12/2017 21:07

mind thats lovely! i guess when people say soulmates that what being in love is. With each others souls, the deepest part of ourselves.

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GreyMorning · 16/12/2017 21:36

When you know, you know.

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t3rr3gl35 · 17/12/2017 04:16

It's comfortable and reassuring and all of the above by PP's. I'm awake MNing while listening to DH snoring after his Christmas night out with his footie mates and I'm happy that he's had a great night. He has had my back since before we became a couple and has never let me or my DD down in 9 years. He makes me feel secure and treasured.

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unpackyoursuitcase · 17/12/2017 04:33

When they have got your back, when you feel supported. When they annoy the shit out of you but you still love them because of the stuff they put up with from you. You go the distance, through the hard times; TOGETHER x Been together 14 years, Married for 7. ! gorgeous daughter together.

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BrizzleDrizzle · 17/12/2017 04:39

When you feel safe and cared about and you feel the same about them.

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Bobbiepin · 17/12/2017 04:46

I always say when I met DH I skipped the overwhelming feelings of fireworks and honeymoon period. Being with him felt like slotting the last piece of a puzzle in to a place that I didnt realise existed before I met him. There was no let down from the honeymoon phase, that's not to say we're still like loved up teenagers, just that I feel no disappointment or boredom from the relationship as I have in the past. It's knowing that I've achieved everything I ever set out to with him and knowing I don't need anything more than him. He's a wonderful husband and father and he makes me a better person.

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MidnightStars · 17/12/2017 12:45

grey people say when you know you know. But not being in love it's hard to see that.

That's so nice bobby so like you belonged. Nice to think that because I'm general life sometimes I feel I don't fit in so would be nice to find that

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Be3Al2SiO36 · 17/12/2017 12:52

You just feel different. And the world looks different. You smile at dogs and birds in trees.

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Fireandflames666 · 17/12/2017 13:26

True love is getting that flip in your stomach or that grin on your face every time you see them no matter how many times you've seen them. Or I'd assume this is what is, lol.

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VioletDaze · 17/12/2017 14:20

I think for me the proof is that while my feelings may ebb and flow, and we have arguments and life stresses like everyone else, ultimately I always come back to this same love for him. He's my hearth fire, my north star.

And no matter what, by the end of every day he's the person I want to go to sleep beside. He's my best friend, he's my partner in crime, he's the person I want to build the rest of my life around. He's my family. It sounds cheesy, but I really feel like he's my soulmate. And I knew that from the first moment we kissed.

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MeMeMeMe123 · 17/12/2017 19:41

I hear ya midnight. I've no idea what it feels like.. it's lovely to read others' experiences of it though. It's just how I imagined it would be for me...
Maybe when I grow up 😉 (41 already)

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Misspilly88 · 17/12/2017 19:55

No, the fireworks and tummy flips, for me, that's lust/honeymoon period. Love to me is being comfortable with each other, he feels like home, he's my rock, he makes me feel confident and I have a go at more things because I know whatever happens, he will be still there, loving me. I feel relieved when he comes home more because I can pass him a screaming baby but I love when we are at social events and catch each other's eye across the room or to watch him talking and laughing with others, secure in the knowledge that we will return to each other. Aw made me go all warm and fuzzy writing that!