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Not sure what to do? Lighthearted and a bit pathetic lol

(58 Posts)
Notusedtodatingstuckinarut Mon 11-Dec-17 18:55:06

So I'm in my mid 40s I shouldn't be asking advice for this! confused it's like being a teenage girl again!

Basically I have a 'friend/acquaintance/Facebook friend' who I know from childhood. I know his sister, used to go to school with her. He's a few years older than me. Typical Facebook likes etc, I've always quite liked him. He appears to be single, has a son who lives part time with him. I'm a single parent to a teenage boy.

He recently commented on a post of mine on Facebook. Then he was out on a night out on Saturday and messaged me regarding my post and sent me some videos of him and another person I know from years ago. They were tipsy and dancing and Just larking about. It was fun interacting as I was home alone.

Yesterday he messaged me again saying something funny about the other person and he had a video of him dancing and wishes I could see it am I on WhatsApp. He said he needed my mobile number to add me which I gave him, he added me and we started chatting. Nothing major just chit chat back and forth. It was nice. I haven't heard from him today but don't want to seem super keen if that isn't what he feels too? Should I casually message him again? Help! Feel pathetic lol!! As you can guess I'm not used to this and haven't had a relationship in years!!! hmm

Annelind Mon 11-Dec-17 19:38:03

OP I started dating again after many years of being happily single . It is nerve-wracking, taking the plunge - I understand totally! take a deep breath and get in touch! you already have a friendship with this guy - message him! just a light, funny message. What's the worst that can happen? What's the best? wink

Notusedtodatingstuckinarut Mon 11-Dec-17 19:42:00

Thanks. It is totally nerve racking! I don't really have a friendship with him I haven't physically seen him in years. I've just messaged him a few times? I don't want him to think I'm being keen if he's not interested???

Annelind Mon 11-Dec-17 19:49:02

Well.....Christmas/ New Year is the current topic of interest. Make your next message about your plans for these? May lead to an invite for a pre- Christmas drink? Only if you meet in real life can you see if he's what you expected. People are often totally different in RL to their online persona.

Notusedtodatingstuckinarut Mon 11-Dec-17 19:54:10

I'm just thinking if he was interested he would have messaged me? (I told you I was pathetic lol 😂)

Annelind Mon 11-Dec-17 19:58:12

You could leave it and wait, or plunge in! no other choice. really. Go with your instincts.

You are NOT pathetic btw! this kind of thing really does reduce us to quivering teens! grin keeps us young at heart!

drainsup Mon 11-Dec-17 19:59:09

Well, possibly he's sitting thinking, 'if she liked me, she might message me'. You've nothing to lose. Keep it light and enjoy it for what is. May start you pondering whether you should get yourself out there again. Good luck!

Notusedtodatingstuckinarut Mon 11-Dec-17 20:05:17

We were chatting last night about how cold it is so I've just asked him if he's warmed up and does he have the heating on? He didn't last night so it's not as mundane as it sounds!!!! He's currently replying....... a good sign? He replies very quickly!!!

Annelind Mon 11-Dec-17 20:06:37

A very good sign! smile

Notusedtodatingstuckinarut Mon 11-Dec-17 20:07:28

He's just sent me a pic of the temperature in his garage (he's a petrol head!) so we are chatting about that grin

passemoilevin Mon 11-Dec-17 20:11:06

Oh love 😬❤️ I've been single a year, am a single parent to a 2yo. In my early 20s but worrying this will be me for life. I'm probably not in a position to date for a few more years until my DD is bigger, but posts like yours give me hope. Keep us updated!

Notusedtodatingstuckinarut Mon 11-Dec-17 20:13:46

I feel so pathetic! I've had an online chat with this man it's hardly a love affair haha! He may be thinking oh sod off? But he is replying? All quite inane chat tho I don't know how to move it along to possibly meeting up??? 😂😂

Annelind Mon 11-Dec-17 20:18:53

Not haha! hint at being keen to be taken for a spin in his car!

passe at least with the excellent advice on these threads, you'll know what to look for (and what to avoid) when you re-enter the market!

Annelind Mon 11-Dec-17 20:20:52

Tell him his dancing vids make you nostalgic for going dancing again.....

Notusedtodatingstuckinarut Mon 11-Dec-17 20:23:51

Good call! Will bear that line in mind mid conversation x

Annelind Mon 11-Dec-17 20:36:06

wink grin

Notusedtodatingstuckinarut Mon 11-Dec-17 20:37:52

I honestly don't know if he's 'interested'??? Texts back straight away, sent me some pics of his bikes (as I say, petrol head) and his front room is fashioned like a right man cave lol! Now conversation stopped????

Annelind Mon 11-Dec-17 20:42:43

Hmmm... he may be watching TV or busy with something. Tomorrow is another day. Don't give up yet!

PlaymobilPirate Mon 11-Dec-17 20:43:27

Send a pic of your feet up... fire on in the background if you have one. Message 'cosy warm here, are you jealous?'

Notusedtodatingstuckinarut Mon 11-Dec-17 20:43:57

My inexperience is showing haha!!!!

Notusedtodatingstuckinarut Mon 11-Dec-17 20:44:41

Omg playmobile I've just done exactly that!!!! Minus the are you jealous bit!!!!

PlaymobilPirate Mon 11-Dec-17 20:49:06


Annelind Mon 11-Dec-17 20:50:23

GO you, not! grin

Notusedtodatingstuckinarut Mon 11-Dec-17 20:54:18

He's not asking me anything about myself? I don't know where to go from here?

Annelind Mon 11-Dec-17 21:01:20

He's probably revelling in the attention. Mention something about your Xmas plans and a new dress you've bought (buy one tomorrow!) send a pic of you in it, glammed up - and ask for his opinion?

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