Is anyone genuinly happy?

[myboy354]

Just that really?

Hi all

1st time poster here, long time lurker!

My marriage is horrendous, to the point i even struggle to call it one. I am emotionally, mentally, & physically bullied on a weekly basis. DH has control over me, DC, my money which i earn from working,everything! If I spent £1 today I would need a receipt.
Its got to a point where i say to myself, well he doesn't hit me anymore he just throws things at me, like that is any better! I know it isn't, but leaving is just not as easy as i think! I have the most amazing family who would welcome me back with open arms, and shield me from this monster.
I often look at other peoples relationships and think is it possible to be happy all the time? Or is it the same for everyone else?
I dont really know what i am expecting people to say but feeling really down today

[category12]

I'm happy. I no longer live with a man. Life has been so much better since I kicked him out.

I do have a guy in my life, but I'd be extremely wary of living together.

[CautionTape]

Yes. A lot of people are genuinely happy OP.

And so can you be. Either alone or with another partner.

Get. shot.

[blueskyinmarch]

I am very happy but my DH loves me and treats me with respect.

You are in an abusive relationship OP. Why do you stay? There are plenty of people on here who can support and advise you if you want to leave.

and for you.

[Chasingsquirrels]

Regardless of whether other people are happy all the time - YOU deserve NOT to be abused myboy354.
You say your family would support you - please let them do so.

(And for what it's worth, my first marriage was good until we grew apart, my second marriage was amazing. In neither of them did I feel at all abused)

[Makesmilingyourbesthobby]

Oh op you don't need to accept this & live your life like this, I'm a single mother to 3 dd's my eldest being nine & I've basically been a single mum for 9 years younger twos father never lived with us & it didn't work out, & I'm completely happy, people think oh yeah course you are when I say it because the social born is to want a partner I do not I've always been most happiest single if I'm honest & any relationships ive had the man has pursued it not me, yes I love being in love but piled with everything that comes with it give me single anyday, me, my girls & my noy (dog) i don't want it any other way, I live how I want do what I want its fab, & the lonely thing people talk about I just don't feel I'm far to busy to ever feel lonely I think & also have a superb supportive family, please regard yourself as worth more than the life your choosing to live (lifes a beautiful thing make the most of it)

[MyBrilliantDisguise]

Your family will help you. Let them.

What would you say to your daughter if she was in your position?

[Makesmilingyourbesthobby]

*norm not born

[PollytheDolly]

OP. Be happy. Leave.

[juliej00ls]

You owe it to your children to provide them with a safe happy childhood. You don’t have to “endure” . Lots of people are content with minimal moans. Good luck x

[atomicnotsoblonde]

I recently left an abusive relationship. I’m a bit lonely on occasion, I often tired as I do everything for the kids alone and work long hours, I’m skint as he pays nothing for his children... but...

We’re happy, we’re free and we’re doing it our way, day by day, on our own.

Hardest thing I’ve ever done, but its worth it. You can do it. Leave him, you’ll find more strength than you ever knew you had x

[loveyoutothemoon]

Yes very happy on my own! No drama.

[ferando81]

What's stopping you ,?You are lucky you have a family that will welcome you back.Plan a new life and then jump into it.Good luck

[SandyY2K]

Why are you living in this hell? If I was abused like you I'd be gone.

See counselling to build up the strength to leave.

Happiness... I'm happy in my marriage. If be happier if I was a size 10 and richer.

[SandyY2K]

seek counselling

[Thebluedog]

Yes it is possible to be happy and have a satisfying and equal relationship

I was you over 19 years ago. Stay sting and leave when you can

[Holland00]

You deserve more than this.
I was in your position not so long ago, I am now a single mother of 4, I no longer tread on eggshells, his moods no longer dominate our lives, I no longer have to worry that he will kick off over something thst is said/not said, done/not done.
I can breathe

Do what you have to do to find the strength to leave x

[disneydatknee]

Yes I am genuinely happy in my relationship. We have our ups and downs like most couples but over all very happy. What you describe is not normal. You owe it to yourself to be happy. Please don’t stay with this abusive piece of shit. Has he always been like this?

[BitchQueen90]

Yep. Happier on my own than any relationship I've ever been in, that is.

[SomeonesRealName]

Yes I am very happy in my relationship- but three years ago I’d have been asking the same question - in fact I did ask it repeatedly when I did the freedom programme after leaving my abusive ex. It’s very hard to leave but you’ll be surprised how quickly you get through that first stage and start rebuilding your life. Get as much support as you can and tell people in real life - abuse thrives in the dark.

[Hastalapasta]

get out lovely, you are not safe where you are.
Yes, I am happy, I have an amazing DH, he adores me as much as I adore him.

[GottadoitGottadoit]

No, it's not the same for everyone else.

[Lweji]

Why do you stay?

[afrikat]

My husband is a wonderful man who puts me and the kids first, treats us all with love and respect and we laugh together daily. We are extremely happy.
You absolutely do not need to stay in this relationship, his treatment of you is not normal and it isn't ok

[Aroundtheworldandback]

“I look at other people’s relationships and wonder if it’s possible to be happy all the time”

That is EXACTLY how I felt when I was with my abusive ex husband. I used to stare in wonder at other couples thinking are they really happy or are they just acting? Because it was just so far removed from my life.

I left the violent bastard and am now remarried to an incredible family guy who just wants to make me happy. Am I happy? I think content’s more the word. You need to take action to change you’re life. I have had two lives and this one is better for my health.