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I love someone else

(35 Posts)
Pinkroserabbit Mon 09-Oct-17 02:07:13

I was sat at the bar when someone came over to me, held my hand and looked in to my eyes, they introduced themselves and asked me if i woukd be there friend. They told me I was pretty and lead me to the dancefloor and sweapt me off of my feet

They asked me to the beach and to another dance else were and I went back to meet thier dogs.

Ive feel pretty hard but I have a partner, but we want different things. My partner only ever wants to hug but nothing more than that. I love my partner but im not in love with my partner.

Ive not left in love like this since I was a teenager and the person at the dance ive fallen head over heals for, but I dont know if they feel the same.

I dont know what to do. I dont want anyone to get hurt but at tge same time I cant stop thinking about the person at the bar and I want them in my life. I never planed for this to happen. Ive been loosing sleep and I cant stop thinking about that magical evening and Im praying I will see them again.

Ive been with my partner for 5 years now and our lives are tangled up together. I just long to hold my new friend again.

Im smitten and I dont feel thst way about my partner what do I do?

LilyMcClellan Mon 09-Oct-17 02:36:38

Honey, I think you need to get a grip.

You have no idea who this person is and yet you're considering leaving your partner of five years for them.

It's called limerance. Google it.

If you have problems with your partner, by all means try to solve them through counselling, and move on if you can't solve them, but don't try to make this mysterious stranger the magical resolution to your stale relationship.

HappenedForAReisling Mon 09-Oct-17 02:55:36

jamesrsl is that you?

Pinkroserabbit Mon 09-Oct-17 03:07:52

Its not limerance if two people like each a womn I really fancy her and i think she feels the same

Pinkroserabbit Mon 09-Oct-17 03:08:19

Woman. Sorry for the typo

catnoir Mon 09-Oct-17 03:14:30

😂😂😂 @HappenedForAReisling

LilyMcClellan Mon 09-Oct-17 03:21:39

Way to miss the point. Which is that you need to sort out your actual relationship's problems like a decent person rather than fantasising about a near-stranger.

Also, you "don't know if she feels the same" and are "praying you will see her again", as stated in your OP. So there is a high degree of uncertainty around this person. Classic limerence.

Pinkroserabbit Mon 09-Oct-17 03:34:19

I didnt come here to get trolled

graziemille Mon 09-Oct-17 03:44:26

Is there a chance you will see this person again? Mutual friends? Do you know details about them, phone number etc?

LilyMcClellan Mon 09-Oct-17 03:54:46

Nobody is trolling you.

You have a partner. If your relationship with your partner is not working out, the appropriate thing to do is seek counselling if you hope to fix it, or leave if you don't.

The fact that you have developed a crush on someone else is irrelevant. You're not free to pursue them. Until you are, focus on your actual relationship.

tinytemper66 Mon 09-Oct-17 03:59:50

Is this an opening for a cheap novel?

MissBax Mon 09-Oct-17 04:08:06

How old are you? This sounds like the start of a teen romance book or film hmm

Lagerthaisfabulous Mon 09-Oct-17 05:49:25

You were in a bar and a complete stranger walked over grabbed your hand and lookes you in the eyes and asked you to be there friend.

And your reaction was to fall for them? Thats not normal adult behaviour.

Schmoopy Mon 09-Oct-17 06:45:46

Your response should have been "no thanks, I'm not interested".

Partly out of respect for the partner you already have, but partly out of respect for yourself.

I cannot believe that a grown adult would fall for this utter nonsense and believe it was something real. It's the nastiest, tackiest, slimiest, most embarrassing way of being picked up I can imagine.

RainyApril Mon 09-Oct-17 06:46:46

Your relationship must be terrible to fall for a creepy stranger, using their best pick up line to great effect for the umpteenth time no doubt. Leave your partner kindly and with dignity if you are unhappy, then being free to pursue this person if you must.

onefortheroadplease Mon 09-Oct-17 06:47:47

Was this recent?

PrincessPlod Mon 09-Oct-17 07:01:41

‘Be my friend’ sounds nuts or a sexual predator either way I’d stay clear. That’s not how adults speak unless they want to appear vulnerable so you trust them/guilted into speaking to them

TheNaze73 Mon 09-Oct-17 07:58:55

I think you should end it with your partner as you’re clearly not happy & not getting what you want from your relationship.

Don’t pin your hopes on the other woman though. It all sounded very Mills & Boon

ShatnersWig Mon 09-Oct-17 08:51:36

Bizarrely written posting.

Interesting first posting on MN too.

You sound weird and so does this other woman. Grow up.

Sohurt17 Mon 09-Oct-17 08:57:57

How old are you OP?

Namethecat Mon 09-Oct-17 09:09:43

This is the stuff of romantic novels, a chance meeting,a deep long glance, a promise, a longing . You were swept away by the moment - nothing more. In all honesty you'd be better off working on your relationship or going single for awhile to work out why it was so easy for you to get taken in by this person. If they had meant this you'd know their number at least.

SandyY2K Mon 09-Oct-17 09:25:17

End your relationship and be free to pursue other options.

Tiddlywinks63 Mon 09-Oct-17 09:28:34

Sounds more like you're bored with your partner and this is your fantasy 🙄

SparklyMagpie Mon 09-Oct-17 09:36:00

Well i'll bite.

Leave your DP for a start regardless

I assume you have contact with this free spirit?

Blackkitten Mon 09-Oct-17 09:41:16

Probably one of the weirdest posts I have ever seen on here. This most be a wind up, yes?

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