PARTNER HATES MY DAUGHTERS TELLING ME THEY LOVE ME!!

[user1483875094]

Arrgghhh ... I am rather mature, my daughters who I adore, (28 and 29) and I, never fail to say to each other (at the end of an email, or text, or conversation) "love you!" and we MEAN it ....!
Manfriend (not partner, does not live with us) but very involved ... and here a very great deal, is becoming more and more "precious" and apparently can't stand it!!! (He has two daughters, one in Australia now, who has nothing to do with him, and one fairly close by, who is lovely, kind, adorable and gentle natured, and loves the attention and affection my daughters and I show her - but who only visits about once every 6 weeks or so, and more often than not, (I think) times her visits to just visit me, strangely.

This week, I spoke to one of my daughters who is going travelling, and told her how much I loved her, and she said the same back, at which point "man-friend" ridiculed me (us) as being not only "pathetic" but also - apparently "affected snobs". This lead to a huge row, and I honestly, suddenly really feel that I do not want this cold person in my life, nor trying to affect my relationship with my own daughters in any way. Am I over-reacting at all, do you all think? I am really, really lost in my anguish over this??

[Ttbb]

I would leave him then and there. I still make a point of telling my father that I love him every single day and he does the same to me! This man is not normal, don't get mixed up with him.

[DirtyNell]

He's not good enough, in fact, toxic. I bet your daughters can't stand him. Share what you've written here, and the red flags you can clearly see, with your daughters, and listen to what they have to say. Get rid of him. He is wrong.

[SandyY2K]

You aren't overreacting. What you say to your daughters is none of his business.

I say the same to my teenage DDs and when I text them.

Any man who doesn't like it can bugger off.

[purplecorkheart]

He sounds horrible. I would be dropping him as a friend.

[CaptainHarville]

Ditch him he sounds like a knob. Don't waste time wondering why. He has a rubbish relationship with one of his children so he's hardly dad of the year. What does he know to be looking down on you and your family? You can do better!

[SweetLuck]

He sounds jealous.

[f83mx]

he's being horrid - and the fact that his kids want nothing (much) to do with him is VERY telling.... what's the story with the daughter in Auz?

[OhHolyFuck]

Off he fucks then?

[strawberrykiss36]

You're not overreacting at all. Perhaps this is caused in some way by guilt he may feel about one of his DD not seeing him at all. I've never heard my Mother say she loves me, I wish she would. Don't ever change and get this hideous man out of your life.

[DirtyNell]

Title says partner , and text says not partner. Which is it??

[AdalindSchade]

Tell him to get to fuck. What a sour, joyless cunt.

[Crumbs1]

Who wouldn't tell their children they love them at every opportunity? He sounds jealous and damaged and the risk is he'll undermine your lovely relationship with the girls.
My husband and I certainly tell our children we love them whenever we speak, text or see each other - which is most days.

[MyFishGeorge]

Different families, different habits. Maybe he comes from a family background where affection was not openly shown and he finds your family habit difficult to deal with.
Having just been reading the thread about the book by Robert Webb in which he writes about the way cliched masculine traits are damaging to men, it occurs to me that this might have been the case for your DP.
He needs to know that it's your normality, a great thing and it won't be changing but perhaps he also needs help to escape his hidebound notions of what is OK to express.

[TwitterQueen1]

OhHolyFuck
Quite right
Bluestone 42?

OP
My mother didn't love me and never said the words. I say them every day to my DDs - and mean it. They do the same to me.

Get rid of him

[Sweetbell]

He's clearly jealous that your daughters truly love you. And you them.
Says more about him then anything else. He probably knows deep down his own kids don't feel same and certainly won't ever say same to him and I wouldn't blame them he sounds awful a joy sucker. Jealous of a mothers bond with her children!
Get rid before he starts trying to make you feel wrong for loving your own flesh n blood!

[bigfatbumfreak]

He's a massive twat, tell him to piss off, man child....WTF.....does he cry if people eat his special yogurts.

[GhoulsFold]

My parents are the same - unaffectionate, cold and ridicule anyone who shows affection as been "a baby" or "gay

I haven't spoken to one parent in around 20 yrs. The other I only see once, MAYBE twice a year of I can stomach the oppressive atmosphere.

The reason I fell in l8ve with my now DH is that he came from a warm loving openly-affectionate family. Both He, and all his family have showered me with that same love and shown me how enriching affection is. I spent my childhood feeling inferior, insignificant and unlikable. I had self confidence and anxiety issues...

If this man is incapable of allowing you to be affectionate without ridiculing you and your daughters for it, its better to cut him loose.

[LilyMcClellan]

Well, this is a no-brainer.

[user1483875094]

Oh, thank you thank you, all of you. You have reassured me hugely! Thank you so much!
DIRTY NELL... well it is difficult, he is here almost every night, but goes back to his own house when it suits him... we have holidays together, he is "entwined" in our lives, but not officially. However, NOTHING and nobody comes between my daughters and I, but having been a dithering insecure person in the past, and having made some appalling choices, I really needed some back - up opinions, which you LOVELY lot have given m, and THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH!!! We are headed for a "bit of a discussion" tomorrow and I think I am brave enough to end it all! NOBODY comes before my daughters! Thank you all SO muich.... xxxxxxxxxxxxx

[Orangebird69]

Tell him to FRO. I'm in my early forties, my parents are both in their late 60s. I tell them I love them every time I speak to them. I don't see what his problem is?

[bigfatbumfreak]

And a cocklodger to boot.

[3EyedRaven]

Good for you user+numbers
You know he's a wrong 'un

[user1483875094]

AdalindSchade

ha ha... thank you so much!!! XXX

[C0untDucku1a]

His daughter sounds like they have been damaged by his lack of love, that one ignores him and one is keen to share the affection in tour family. But him ditch immediately:

[Treebags]

My parents and I say that we love each other every time we part/end a phone call too. Is he jealous that his daughter is so close to you?