Have posted before about my DH and finding out about very old EA with an ex employee of ours culminating in finding very longing songs he wrote and recorded onto CD about her (with him singing and playing (found by me accidentally when looking for something else 11 years after events as he had been too lazy it seems to throw them away) . She moved abroad and has since married and just had a baby. They always remained in occasional touch long after she did anything for us and of course I didnt know the full score as i hadnt seen these songs etc, so never objected to this.. He still maintains it was just "a crush" all one sided on his part and she knew nothing, (she was very young (20) and single) although she did text him a lot at the time and gave him a painting she had painted. . He has never removed her off FB or his phone contacts after I confronted just before xmas and asked me the other week if it was ok for him to offer congratulations on her new baby on a post she made as it would look odd if he didnt . i said yes it was fine. I am busy writing a letter stating how I feel about it all, his lack of seeming that remorsful (although I do think he is hugely embarrased and hence doesnt want to talk abut it ) and just generally offloading that I need to feel that I am not "second choice" and that I think a bit of space may do me good to think about things without him being there. I basically "would" like him to beat himself up, with a nice mix of grovel in there too. Absolutely no sign of it, although I know he definitely doesnt want to split up . I also want him to remove this person off FB and out his phone bookI thought he might have done this himself, but no. AIBU to ask for this given its likley this person may well have known nothing at all. ? They are definitely not in touch any other way and she seems very happy with her husband and new baby etc.
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