This is a bit of a wwyd situation; would really appreciate perspectives.
MIL is absolutely lovely and in general we have a very good relationship. She and DH (and siblings) are very good friends; she adores DC; she is very supportive, kind, warm, funny, generous etc.
She's not comfortable with conflict at all. In the past when DH has tried to discuss any sort of upset with her, he's felt she's brushed it off and avoided the discussion. Or she's said what she thinks he wants to hear and not followed through. She's of the generation (and from a cultural upbringing) that just gets on with stuff and don't give much weight to anything too emotional.
Last time we visited, we were discussing our trying for a second DC. DC1 was born extremely early, was extremely poorly and very unlikely to survive, but did defy the odds and is now a healthy toddler. MIL commented (in a very warm and positive tone) that next time "it will be different because you'll be careful", and then clarified that she meant I'd not cycle during this pregnancy.
We were a bit stunned and asked quite gently if she felt DC1 had been early because I'd not been careful, and she instantly bristled and said "did I say that?!" She wouldn't be drawn on further discussion and we let it move on in a positive tone.
It's stuck with me, though, and that's my WWYD. Should I / we try to talk about it with her again? I don't want her to be worried / judgemental if I do get pregnant and cycle again (not downhill racing, btw, just leisurely cycle path cycling - which I've been advised by Dr is not linked to prem birth). I'm also really quite hurt about it because I feel like she secretly (not so secret now, I guess) blames me for all the horrific stuff DC1 has experienced due to early arrival.
Just to stress, generally a v good relationship, we love her and she's an overall force for good! So we're not going to be going NC or telling her to fuck off to the far side of fuck etc.
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...can't believe I'm writing a MIL thread...
quinoabeanwah · 24/04/2017 06:38
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