online dating - nothing going on.why????

[furlinedsheepskinjacket]

arghhhh

i've been on sites for about 4 weeks now

no action, hardly anything at all.one or two messages.

is this normal? am i expecting too much?

helllllllppppp


tia

[Plentyoffishnets]

What site(s) are you on fur-lined?
I personally really rate tinder. At least then you know you like each other without trawling through all the profiles, find someone you like, who then ignores you if you "wink" or message them!
There's an ongoing daying thread here in relationships which is great. It's full of people going through the highs and lows of on line dating, you should take a look

[bullyhfc]

have you sent any out?

[OliviaBonas]

I agree! Tinder is my fav too.

[furlinedsheepskinjacket]

ok i might give tinder a go

yy i have sent messages out - i have seen that these people have then viewed my profile but nothing happens

i've tried a fairly local site, soulmates and match. in 3 weeks i have one poss meet up in the future but nothing else even close

[furlinedsheepskinjacket]

should i be trawling?

[furlinedsheepskinjacket]

more?

[LesisMiserable]

Tinder is brilliant. Be aware though you need to put your best foot forward photo wise, as it is first and foremost very much a looks thing...but after that...I met my DP on Tinder 2.5 years ago, getting wed in July. Tinder rules 😊

[OliviaBonas]

You need to be super resilient as the OLD world is brutal. Stick with it though.

Les what an inspiring story!

[PenguinDi]

I vote plenty of fish I met my DP on there 2 years ago and getting married in September. It's avoiding the weirdos that was my annoying bit.

[Mysterycat23]

Best photos possible. Avoid any negativity on your profile, keep it chatty and positive. Good luck!

[Dieu]

'Fresh meat' (sorry, horrible expression) usually get inundated with attention, for the first few weeks at least, so it's surprising that this hasn't happened.
Do you have more than one photo, and is it a nice smiley one? I'd perhaps get a friend to read over your profile too.
Good luck with it, and hope it picks up soon.

[ShatnersWig]

Head to the dating thread on here, best place for advice

[furlinedsheepskinjacket]

thanks everyone :)

[RestlessTraveller]

I can only echo what everyone said about Tinder. Met my DP on there 2 years ago, wedding is this year.

[pocketsaviour]

Ask a good friend to look at your profile and be really brutal with you.
(Drink wine first.)

[noego]

try OKC

[furlinedsheepskinjacket]

yay restless - thats lovely

i think i'm too old for okc - gulp :)

[RestlessTraveller]

Rubbish! How old are you?

[furlinedsheepskinjacket]

oh maybe not - just checked
one i was def too old for maybe zoosk?

i'm 50

[RestlessTraveller]

Certainly not too old for OK Cupid, I had some lovely dates with guys around your age while I was on there.

The key to OLD for me was never to take anything too seriously. I went for dates with blokes I knew weren't going to be keepers just to keep me dating and knowing what to look out for. A bit like going to a job interview just for the experience. Never dinner though, just a coffee after work in the first instance, and always have a reason to leave, e.g. "well that was lovely but I must get back for the dog"

If you know you don't want to see them again then always send a quick message saying "Thank you I had a lovely time but I don't think we quite clicked, good luck in your search" This saves any embarrassment and hiding from your chosen site.

[furlinedsheepskinjacket]

thanks restless - its so good to hear positive stuff.

[Stormtreader]

"I went for dates with blokes I knew weren't going to be keepers just to keep me dating and knowing what to look out for."

This comes up often on these threads and always confuses me - how can someone do that when they arent getting messages/replies?
Are you getting a message from someone, thinking "they literally tick none of the boxes of anything im looking for/have sent a really creepy letchy message but theyre the only message ive had so i guess i need to meet them?"

[ocelot7]

Obv the OP shouldn't respond to creeps but its an interesting idea to date more to get more experience. But trust yr instincts - I cancelled some that didn't seem 'right'.

You have to put in some effort reading profiles & sending messages though the bit rate is low - 10 initial messages may lead to 1 meeting...and then you may not click :( I was older than OP when I started OLD btw

Good advice to have a friend check yr profile - my friend improved mine a lot by lightening the tone & I think it was some of her work that caught the attention of my now DP :)

[ocelot7]

Hit rate

[Stormtreader]

Im not even getting 1 conversation of more than 1 reply in 10 messages, I'd LOVE to have a hit rate of 1 meeting per 10 messages :/