I know this subject has come up before, but I am having a problem shaking off someone who lives near me. She thinks she is a friend, but I regard her as more of an acquaintance. (Let's call her 'Z.') She is annoying and clingy and nosey, and she turns up uninvited if I don't answer her text or call (she only has my mobile number, and not my home number thank F.)
We moved into the area only a few weeks apart around 3 years back, and Z zoned in on me. She was OK to start with but became annoying very quickly and kept bugging me; asking me and DH to meet up with her and her partner, calling around unannounced, and joining things I was going to. (Several groups in the area....)
In addition, if she doesn't see me for a few weeks, she starts blabbing to the women in the groups that we both attend. 'Have you seen Deb? She hasn't been in touch for so long.' I began to feel like I have to justify where I've bloody been!
Me and DH went out with her and her partner a few times in the first year we knew them (to the pub,) but grew tired of them very quickly, because we had little in common, they were always late, and half the time her partner didn't turn up. They used my DH time and again to fix their computer, and a few weeks ago, my DH has said he is no longer doing it. Since then her partner has gone in a huff and has basically ignored my DH when he has passed him in the car this past few weeks.
The last time I texted her was to say 'DH is no longer doing computers so you'll have to find someone else.' (About 6 weeks ago.) We then saw her 2 weeks ago in a cafe, and she came over and spoke to us, and started asking questions about what we were doing and why we weren't at work and so on, and then she went.
Then I got a text from her today (at midday,) when I was out with DH, saying 'Hope everything is OK; not heard from you for ages, and haven't seen you around the area. I did call at your house an hour after texting you as I was worried that you didn't respond... Will call again soon. We will have to go all out for a drink again soon.'
FFS!
She is really bugging me now. I have been as short as I can, without being rude, and she flat out is not taking the hint. Short of telling her to F off (which is hard as we go to the same activities in our area,) how can I make it more clear I am not interested? Her partner seems to have got the message and hasn't even been bothered to turn up half the time, but she is not getting it. I am even at the point where I am not turning up to things/places if I know she will be there. Including my hobby groups.
I have nothing in common with her at all, and DH has nothing in common with her partner; we just sort of floated together a bit when we first moved here, and she clung on for dear life. (to us.) Any normal person would have taken the hint by now.
Me and DH went to the pub a month ago, (without them!) and last week one of the women from a group I go to said 'I saw 'Z' last week and she said she was really upset you had gone to the pub without her.' I felt myself getting angry and said 'Are me and my husband not allowed to go out to the pub as a couple without her permission? I don't have to tell her everything I do!' The woman just looked a bit shocked and said sorry. I said it wasn't her fault, but Z has no business getting sniffy coz we went to the pub without her. And going round telling people. What is she? 5!
And now THIS. Messaging me and then turning up an HOUR after, because she is 'worried.'
When we saw them in December, Z said to me 'have you ever been friends with someone who seems to start avoiding you, and starts acting differently' So I don't think we are the first to get peed off with her!
How can I deal with this? Text back and say 'yeah we're fine, he's fine, I'm fine, nothing's wrong. No time to go out for a long time. BYE!' Or just ignore her?!
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Relationships
Dilemma; advice please.
user1484750550 · 06/03/2017 19:16
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