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Called me his ex's name TWICE

(45 Posts)
Cmajmp Fri 03-Mar-17 18:51:37

As you can guess by the title my boyfriend callrd me his ex's name TWICE. We have been together 8 months now and he broke up with her 2 years ago. The first time I put it down to an accident. This time I'm a little upset about it. Again he said it was an avcudent. I told him I was upset he apologised and obviously I was still upset. He's told me I'm oversensitive and need to get over it. I know I might be reading too much into it but I can't help but to be upset that he called me another woman's name. Should I just get over it or am I right to be upset?! sad everything was going so well until this. It's making me question the relationship. :/

Wishiwasmoiradingle2017 Fri 03-Mar-17 18:54:18

Was this while in the bedroom? blush

Cmajmp Fri 03-Mar-17 18:56:51

No! Luckily! Both times were just general conversation. Like tonight he was just getting a drink about the Fridge and said it as he was talking too me!

MirandaWest Fri 03-Mar-17 18:57:24

DH calls me by his ex's name sometimes. I have called him by XHs name too. Neither of us mean to but sometimes it just happens.

plotisgone Fri 03-Mar-17 18:57:49

Same thing happened to me (once during sex! That didn't go down well) afterwards I made it a bit of a joke and emphasised my ex's name when talking to him a couple of times or if he done something that was just like me ex (not flush the loo - ohh GREAME you forgot to flush the loo, oh I mean Jack! Blast from the past). In seriousness though I almost had a slip of the tongue out myself, out of habit - the ex was a luck escape so no ember feelings coming through just a brain fart if you will. I wouldn't think much into it unless you think you have competition in his ex

BakerBear Fri 03-Mar-17 18:58:20

I ve had this in the past. Usually during a debate i have been called by an exs name especially if the relationship is under 12 months old.

Last week my step dad was debating with me about driving which is something me and dh can get high rate about as we never agree on that subject and i called my step dad dh name.

If its happening after 12 months or becomes very regular then i would get annoyed but twice in a new relationship is not that much.

SookiesSocks Fri 03-Mar-17 18:58:32

First 12 months of my new relationship i called DP by DHs name. I was with DH 14 years and it happened during conversation or when i was relaying information. DP also called me his exes name a few times.
It was not something we stressed about.

However it never happened in the bedroom. Thats different i think. Not sure why it just is.

TwentyCups Fri 03-Mar-17 19:03:05

It's annoying but i have got a huge fear/paranoia of doing this myself after witnessing a huge argument between my mum and step dad. They had been together less than a year immediately after my parents split (before actually) so really it wasn't that surprising. We get names muddled all the time, it's only this instance that causes such offence.

Saying this, I know my DP would be hugely upset/offended if I did it, which is one reason I worry.

However, it could be that he did it once in error and has since worried about it SO MUCH that he did it again because the name was stuck in his head because of the first time, if that makes sense?

Cmajmp Fri 03-Mar-17 19:04:09

Thank you. I probably am reading too much into it! The ex is no competition. She cheated on him with his sister's boyfriend!!! So obviously a very messy ending. She wasn't very liked by his family prior to that as she used yo physically hurt him. (His mum tells me things as he won't discuss it with me). I do think it's habit that he says her name but it's not nice to hear lol sad

troodiedoo Fri 03-Mar-17 19:04:13

It's not nice but but if your relationship is otherwise going well then try not to dwell on it.

Points you might want to consider:

Was she the love of his life?
Does he mention her at all?
Are they still in contact?
Are your names similar?
Is he a bit absent minded in general?

Cmajmp Fri 03-Mar-17 19:05:39

She was his first love, our names don't sound similar, he's told me bits about her and they aren't in contact anymore. X

Huskylover1 Fri 03-Mar-17 19:10:09

Unfortunately, I have called my DH by my ExH name, on a couple of occasions. Honestly, I am totally head over heels in love with DH, and wouldn't ever want to be with ExH. It means nothing, it's just a slip of the tongue.

joystir59 Fri 03-Mar-17 19:16:44

I haven't done this and neither has OH, but she has sometimes insisted that I have been with her when travelling to certain places- she absolutely insisted that we'd gone together to a kind of SeaWorld please in France to the point where I thought I'd got something wrong with my brain because I had no memory of it at all. when we actually unpicked things she had gone with her (French) ex! She said that she'd enjoyed it so much she thought she must have been there with me.

Evergreen777 Fri 03-Mar-17 19:20:14

I get people's names wrong quite often - completely accidental, I know who I'm talking to but the wrong name comes out. I've been with DH 7 years, but have on occasion called him my ex's name. I also get the kids names mixed up sometimes, and have a habit of calling DSS by DD's name if I'm telling him off blush I wouldn't take it to heart - if he says it's accidental, why wouldn't you believe him?

Cmajmp Fri 03-Mar-17 19:21:06

Thanks smile all the messages are reassuring it probably was an accident! I've said things like "was I with you when such a thing happenrd" so I suppose it's similar

DevelopingDetritus Fri 03-Mar-17 19:26:21

I think the fact that is trying to dismiss your upset is worse than the name slip.

luckycatclover Fri 03-Mar-17 19:36:50

If it makes you feel any better I've quite a few times almost called one of my close male friends by my DP's name! No idea why, there's certainly nothing behind it, it just slips out.

TheNaze73 Fri 03-Mar-17 20:31:05

Don't sweat it, I think a lot of people will have done this

PaddlingFuriously Fri 03-Mar-17 20:35:01

Dh did this twice when we first got together & I was heartbroken. They separated not long before we got together & I spent a lot of time worrying that I was a rebound or a poor substitute.

After 10 years, 5 years of marriage & two dc, I'm quite sure it was a slip of the tongue.

You'll be fine flowers

BeerMuggles Fri 03-Mar-17 20:41:24

I might be swimming up stream but I think I can categorise people by levels of comfort/excitement/insecurity or levels or affection. I might call a new boyfriend the name of an old boyfriend if I felt the same around him.

Autumnchill Fri 03-Mar-17 21:03:14

I've called my assistant by my husbands name twice today, called a Director by my husbands name this week and called my husband my ex husbands name (of 8 yrs) yesterday.

It happens!

LesisMiserable Fri 03-Mar-17 22:20:02

It happens, no big deal...only worry ifhe calls you a random woman's name !!

Dragonbait Fri 03-Mar-17 22:24:34

I called my DH my ex's name a few times and he was chilled. When I called him the dogs name a few times he was a bit more miffed!!

HarmlessChap Sat 04-Mar-17 01:47:02

My 1st 2 proper GFs had the same name, later I dated a girl for a few months then broke up shortly before meeting the girl who became my DW and they had the same name.

So really it was a rookie error on his part, he should have made sure he only dates women with the same 1st name!

Oh and when I was at school I called my teacher Mum a couple of times.

Don't sweat it, it happens and mostly through habit rather than due to lingering feelings.

Cmajmp Sat 04-Mar-17 09:40:58

Thanks everyone. I think I have got over myself now lol. I think it was more the initial shock of him calling me her name again! I guess it happens and it is just a mistake. It's not worth ruining something good for x

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