I don't post on here but have been a lurker for a while. I really need to talk to someone. I have been so fucking stupid. I have been with DH for 14 years, 2 DDs.
Ok, I joined a Facebook group late last year. A man started messaging me about a shared interest on the group, wanting my input with setting up a business. We chatted on FB and occasionally on the phone. We exchanged photos, he started flirting. I told him to stop because We are both married. He stopped, I'm not sure how on earth it happened but we kept chatting and getting closer over the last month. . Started flirting. He started telling me about personal things that honestly you wouldn't tell anyone.. Last week we discussed that we had feelings for each other and since then we've been having an affair. Messages, calls, video chats,... I have been feeling so guilty but couldn't seem to stop. Today I wrote him a long essay saying it was over and deactivated the Fb account. All the calls etc were done through there so he has no way to contact me.
I don't expect any sympathy. I fully deserve every horrible emotion I'm experiencing right now. I'm a fucking awful person so please don't sympathise, I don't want that.
What I need to know is should I tell DH? I am prepared to suffer the consequences fully and let him make his choice but it is completely over with OM. I have read other threads and some say not to tell DH because it's not fair to offload my guilt onto him, and others say it's only fair to let him make a choice. what do you think I should I do?
I didn't want to include too much info so sorry if I have to drip feed. I have tried to include what I think is relevant. I wasn't looking for an affair, it just happened. I want my marriage and will NEVER let this happen again. Oh and it was a secondary FB account that my DH is aware of if that matters, so he won't question why I deleted it.
Thanks everyone..
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody
Relationships
Emotional/online affair
Eohakann · 25/01/2017 14:58
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