I met somebody online a couple of weeks before Christmas and we really hit it off, we saw each other quite regularly over the first few weeks and all seemed to be going great. I liked him, and he was really, really keen. We slept with each other after about date four. He was quite open about his impending divorce, and the fact that he'd only moved out five months before, although his marriage had been pretty miserable for a long time. Anyway, after a couple of weeks of lovely stuff, the usual story seemed to emerge and he backed off, sent fewer messages and wasn't so quick to get in touch etc. I was quite direct about asking him why etc, and to be fair, he was very open with me and happy to communicate, but admitted he wasn't ready to get into a serious relationship - but that he really liked me and wanted to stay good friends. I was pretty gutted (largely hid this from him) but respected what he said. Anyway, to cut a long story short, we've stayed in touch - we now text probably every other day or so, only light stuff mainly - and we've been out a couple of times. A week ago, I invited him over for a casual meal at mine and we ended up having sex, and he stayed the night. More messages in the week, then we went out again on Friday and again, we had sex. All very affectionate and nice BUT the friends thing has completely thrown me. I suppose I want it to be more, and I feel disappointed we're not 'seeing' each other in the way I understand this to work. Maybe I'm just being old fashioned! I don't know if I'm just being used for sex (he lives pretty close to me). I was married for 15 years and am just not used to this casual kind of thing. Stuff like I'd like to call him sometimes but feel like I can't. Feel like I can't make any plans to do stuff with him in case he freaks out. It's my birthday soon (he knows this) but I feel like I can't suggest anything in case he thinks I'm being too much. Ridiculous I know.
In the meantime, I've checked online and he hasn't been on the same site for ages, has taken his profile down and besides he really doesn't seem like the shagging around type.
I suppose I'm unclear how to 'play' things - is this just normal dating for 2 fortysomethings with kids and commitments etc, or is it reasonable to expect more commitment at this stage?
Would appreciate any thoughts!
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Relationships
Confused by 'rules' of new relationship
lorna111 · 15/01/2017 20:36
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