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Eighth Night - on the sofa

(42 Posts)
IronNeonClasp Mon 02-Jan-17 22:10:25

And not mentioned? Like - "you have the bed tonight? I will sleep on the sofa"

The super king sized bed that I bought?

We have recently discussed separation etc but is this is not nice - right?

Letting your wife sleep on the sofa? hmm

SandyY2K Mon 02-Jan-17 22:14:22

Get in the bed before him and he can have the sofa.

RockyBird Mon 02-Jan-17 22:17:48

Just go to bed and put a row of pillows in no man's land.

Sorka Mon 02-Jan-17 22:21:09

Yes. Why are you on the sofa? As Sandy says, if he wants to sleep separately he needs to be on the sofa. He also needs to communicate what's going on in his head.

IronNeonClasp Mon 02-Jan-17 22:24:06

To clarify. I don't really want to share the bed with him. I've been sleeping in DD bottom bunk and sofa for months bar Aug-early Dec. But I am back on the sofa and no mention...

Mouikey Mon 02-Jan-17 22:24:31

If it's a super king size pillows, blankets or towels down the middle!!!

Ilovecaindingle Mon 02-Jan-17 22:26:14

I slept in the conservatory for 5 months before I moved out. Bloody freezing. Claim back half of your own bed with own bedding etc.

TheThingsWeAdmitOnMN Mon 02-Jan-17 22:29:49

Why are you on the sofa instead of the bed in DD's room?

Maybe he thinks it's more appropriate for you to share with your DD than him (I don't but some people would) & doesn't know why you aren't.

That aside. It p's time to get the whole relationship sorted out, break up or make up, you can't carry on like this.

IronNeonClasp Mon 02-Jan-17 22:32:22

There are massive sunken dips either side of massive huge said mattress where it has been peed on so much last couple of years.

In order to get a good nights sleep you need to sleep in the centre really. Sofa much more comfy than sunken edges.

I just want my bed back sad

IronNeonClasp Mon 02-Jan-17 22:38:44

TheThings - they are shorty bunks and she fidgets too much. I wake up 5/6 times a night..

Fartleks Mon 02-Jan-17 22:42:18

You and your DD sleep in the big bed. DH sleeps in the bunk

IronNeonClasp Mon 02-Jan-17 22:46:03

He's too tall for it and needs 'a good nights sleep'

I am a mug aren't I!

Thattimeofyearagain Mon 02-Jan-17 22:48:31

Well get in the bed. Honestly love, he isn't going to suddenly offer to swap after all this time. Take the bed fir yourself & TELL him its his turn to find somewhere else to lay his head.

TanteJeanne Mon 02-Jan-17 22:50:59

I don't think who is in the bed is the real issue.

fallenempires Mon 02-Jan-17 22:53:55

Oh some of these entitled twats don't care where you sleep it's all about them.It's their way of being in control & controlling you as the supposed man of the house.
My X(H) did this so I spent many nights downstairs on the sofa as there was no way on this earth that I could get into the same bed as an emotionally abusive bully boy like him.Thankfully,I was able to have a sleep in my own bed once he'd gone to work & the dcs were at school or nursery as we worked different hours.
Have you discussed when he's moving out yet?

JennyHolzersGhost Mon 02-Jan-17 22:53:58

Peed on ?

SleepingTiger Mon 02-Jan-17 22:55:14

So tomorrow is the 9th Night?
Throw a party for your girlfriends, make lots of noise until the early hours (Nine ladies dancing)

On Wednesday a party for the boys (10th Night - ten lords a leaping!)

Then on Thursday and Friday - horn section and drummers!!

Drive him out of the bedroom and out of the house (sorry could not resist the 8th Night analogy). fsmile

coolaschmoola Mon 02-Jan-17 22:56:25

I don't think having or not having a vagina is any indication of where someone should sleep...

Take it in turns?

IronNeonClasp Mon 02-Jan-17 22:58:24

Jenny - heavy bed wetter when pissed. Sometimes 3 x's a week at worst peak times. V embarrassing.

IronNeonClasp Mon 02-Jan-17 22:59:40

V good SleepingTiger albeit do not want to wake the DCs when they are down.

He won't leave (sorry have forgotten poster)

Gallavich Mon 02-Jan-17 23:02:30

You want to sleep in the piss bed?
What?
Why doesn't he move out and take the piss bed with him? You can buy your own lovely clean bed just for you.

IronNeonClasp Mon 02-Jan-17 23:02:43

Fallen - sorry I forgot you. Thanks for this. Gives me hope. I go into my bed when he has gone to work 6:45-7

IronNeonClasp Mon 02-Jan-17 23:07:07

Gallavich - in the centre of the bed. But not at all with him since withholding sex since June and everything has broken down. And I realise how conditioned I am to the bed situ and other 'issues'.

fallenempires Mon 02-Jan-17 23:08:50

He will not leave? Why? So you and your child/ren have to put up with this?
OP if it's over then he needs to go,you may or not have got your head around this but trust me dcs don't until the other parent has moved out,I am living testament to that.It's confusing & hurtful & they are aware of the relationship breakdown even if you think that they aren't.

IronNeonClasp Mon 02-Jan-17 23:10:22

He has no where to go and expects me to sort it.

I am so tired sad

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