He just does nothing in the house, or with the DCs. Even the few small jobs that are 'his' to do such as emptying the kitchen bin he hardly ever does. I'm just fucking sinking.
I have been diagnosed with bipolar disorder in the past year. When I'm 'up' I'm ok and I manage to keep my head above water even though I have to do everything. When I'm 'down', such as right now, I feel like taking the kids and just driving off somewhere and leaving him.
I work practically full time. I run a business from home too, which DH would be mightily pissed off if I stopped doing but it takes up a lot of my time. DH made the decision over the past few years to get 3 dogs, which I have to walk, clean up after etc. I have to do all the thinking, all the organising, everything.
If I am in a down slump, as I am at the moment, then he does absolutely nothing. I have had to drag myself food shopping today as we had no food in the house and he wouldn't even do an online shop. He's gone to the pub.
He's barely acknowledged my bipolar diagnosis. I have been misdiagnosed with depression for years and he's barely acknowledged that too. He just gets pissed off if I don't do the things I usually do.
So anyway, today I feel like I'm fucking sinking. I had to take my disabled mum shopping earlier and cart the kids along with me as he wouldn't even look after them for 2 hours.
I've had enough.
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Relationships
I'm sinking and sinking, and DH just doesn't give a shit
CockOhDial · 22/12/2016 16:08
for you.
Can you get a cleaner to help you?
Not looking after his own kids is outrageous, I would be mightily pissed off at that.
I really feel for you, I have a similar diagnosis and its so hard at times doing the basics. This is far too much pressure for you. I can't imagine taking care of an overgrown man child on top of everything else. Big hugs darling. He is being spectacularly selfish.
Can you draw back and look after yourself and the DCs and not worry about DH or others?
The dogs are his, so he walks them and looks after them or they must go.
Can you DM get online shopping delivered?
Ignore DH in terms of laundry etc if he is not listening to you.
And give up the extra work if that is too much for you - you need to get yourself back on a more even keel first to be able to look after yourself and the family, and then the extras may be possible to add back in.
When do you get the chance to "go to the pub" - aka get time for yourself to do something that is beneficial or enjoyable just for you?!
Oh I was married to a leech like this. It is awful. I ended up on antidepressants. He never lifted a finger and didn't care.
I still have the dog he insisted on getting and promised to walk but when he left my life became immeasurably better and I stopped the meds.
I learned how important it is for my children's wellbeing to be happy and OK. On my marriage I was very far from happy and OK.
Do yourself and your dc a massive favour and start detaching and planning to leave.
Conserve your energy and stop doing chores for him. Forget about doing his laundry or walking his dogs and resolve to see a solicitor ASAP.
To you.
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