Porn.. A question about porn?

[BeenAroundTheWorld]

Me and my partner use the same tablet.. Sometimes it synced to his phone by accident though.

I was looking at the history because we had been looking for a day out last week for a water park for us and the kids and I wanted to book tickets but couldn't remember the name.

Anyway he must have synced his phone without realising and all his history came up.
He had been looking at a lot of porn and I admit I'm generally not okay with it as a rule because I find it quite degrading and tbh he hasn't made much effort in th bedroom department with me so it upsets me when he looks at Porn.

But.... I don't make a huge deal out of it!
What really strikes me is inbetween that history there was atleast three instances in a row where he had gone on webchat live.
It said webchat live/insertname.
So this infuriated me obviously because I'm also hormonal (pregnant) I did fly of the handle and confront him.. I called him a cheat ect.

He denied ever going on live chat he said he only ever looked at porn.. Because I was pregnant and he didn't think I was in the mood. Which is a lie because he always knocks me back.
Anyway what I'm asking is.. Is it true that if you go on porn sites, does live Web cam chats pop up? Their profiles ect and if that's the case why would three separate profiles pop up.

Can I trust him?

[roarfeckingroar]

Something called live jasmine always pops up

[roarfeckingroar]

But is that really the point?

[BeenAroundTheWorld]

Yes because i want to know whether he has been looking at regular porn or watching a live cam. To me there is a huge difference. Live cam is as good as cheating.
Porn is a foolish boyish trait

[TheNaze73]

I think we all have different cheating boundaries OP, so you're right to see a distinction as that's how you feel. There are pop ups galore on a lot of free porn sites, so I wouldn't necessarily go to town on the web chat stuff

[BeenAroundTheWorld]

Yeah I agree we all have completely different views and I respect everyones! I just needed an answer for me you know? So I could make that decision. I just feel like if he's watching live chat that's taking it too far and I can't handle that
Thanks

[imwithspud]

I think there are a lot of pop ups on free porn sites, some of those might include 'live chat' sites. It doesn't necessarily mean he's been on them.

But I don't like porn either and I totally understand your feelings op. Especially if things in the bedroom department aren't great.

[BeenAroundTheWorld]

Yeah I hate it tbh.
What threw me more was he went on porn the day after we got engaged... I mean come on!
I do get there is pop ups.. But there is also things to click on to go on live chat right? And these were three different profiles in a row and... When I clicked on them because I did curiosity ( I know it killed the cat lol) but I did and it went onto that profile on the porn site not on like a separate link or pop up page. Do you see what I mean?
So blooming confused

[MooseAndSquirrel]

Live chat adds pop up on free sites

[AntiHop]

I totally understand why you feel so hurt. In my opinion looking at porn is not acceptable. It objectifies women and humiliation of women is a common theme.

[merville]

Just tested it on pornhub; only thing that comes up of its own accord is Live Jasmin (appears in history as a Red L followed by
"LiveJasmin.com - - Hot Live Sex Shows! creatives.livejasmin.com").

Nothing else has come up in the history so far (other than the videos/pages I'm going through).

I'm using google chrome as my web browser.

But what site is it? Perhaps the only way to test it is to go on the site, only click on videos and see what comes up in the history.

I understand - I have no issue with my hub watching porn (and I watch it too) but live chat/interactive sex etc. would be a divorcing issue for me.

It is frustrating/offensive when someone is not making any effort with you - but I can't get offended at my hub because I've fallen into the same trap of using it because it takes so much less effort than sex and is convenient and selfish. Using it close to important/sentimental events, I can understand the ickiness - though again when you just see it as a meaningless release or indulgence, it might seem irrelevant to you.

[Felascloak]

I think he might have been webcamming, sorry. Check his email and see if you can find a username, then you can search the site to see if he's registered. Users often have profiles, I guess so the girls can see who's worth rinsing. Search by googling site:"website address" "dickheads username"
Sorry this is happening to you

[merville]

Antihop - porn runs the gamut from mutual, 'equal' stuff with lots of oral on the female etc. to degradation, but I completely see your point.

[BeenAroundTheWorld]

The site itself was reduce
The links weren't from any like pop ups separately if you catch my drift.
The history was Google Chrome and when I clicked on the history link it went onto a profile on that original site itself.
So for instance if I went on that site clicked on live chat then on a profile the same link came up in my history if you catch me drift?
It wasn't like a separate pop up link.
I don't know if I'm making sense.
Tbh I feel a little sick and dizzy.
I can't get onto his email he keeps his phone with him and if he leaves it it not long enough for me to have a look

[BeenAroundTheWorld]

Red tube* sorry

[BeenAroundTheWorld]

I absolutely value everyones opinions and tbh I have nothing against anyone who agrees with porn. But in a relationship I thought you weren't supposed to do something that would hurt your partner. If you both agree that's different.. But I do think it's objectifying women and I think some men use porn for ideas in the bedroom.
I think since he started using that he had to become more selfish.
But if he has been on live chat, that's a deal breaker!
I don't want to be with a man that uses porn and even live chat all the time when he has a woman that is more than willing!

[SarcasmMode]

If it was only one livechat thing I'd say he probably accidently clicked on a link on one of those pop up things to make it go to the website it was advertising if that makes sense...

But with 3, I don't think so personally.

It's up to you how you tackle this but it does sound like he has lied.

I have no problem with porn as a one off but regularly it's just not a healthy thing to do but everyone is different. I don't agree with what porn stands for and obviously some people are exploited but that's another thread but in it's basic form if someone is using it it doesn't automatically make them a cheater to me but that's my own personal boundary.

Live webchats with sexysarah19 or fuckmekate is not OK though imho.

[BeenAroundTheWorld]

I honestly don't know what to think. It was definitely three links in a row three separate emails.
Even if I I wanted to check his emails messages ect I couldn't. He deletes 90% of his history.
Search history ect

[BeenAroundTheWorld]

Profiles not emails sorry*

[merville]

Guessed it was redtube (!) and tried browsing around vids on there & looking at history - the only popup was 888 casino. However there was a page listed in my history with starting with "engine.phn. double.." that led to "LiveHotty" a live web cam site when I clicked it. Weirdly that didn't appear anywhere on my screen until I clicked it in my history, then it opened the livehotty page. Tried closing and opening redtube a couple of times and 1 time it appeared again in my history, 2nd time it didn't.
However I appreciate that you have an insert username page & 3 profile pages, which is different. V sorry OP, I thought this might be a case of popups.
I'm with you; porn is one thing but web cams are another. Perhaps you can get the chance to check his email to confirm; he's very unlikely to be honest without proof, isn't he? Even if you had it, he'll prob. still deny - people have denied a lot worse to the inth degree.
Even if he were honest, could you get past it if he agreed to never repeat it and to stop/minimise porn use and make more effort?

[merville]

If he doesn't delete his emails from the trash folder they stay in there for a while.

[BeenAroundTheWorld]

Oh dear I'm really stuck on what to do. I can't look at him the same or feel comfortable about intimacy with him.
Is he telling the truth and I'm being silly. Still doesn't alter the fact he is getting off on other girls.
Or is he lying and I'm a mug that just a comfort zone for him.

[UmbongoUnchained]

Some porn sites hide chat links in the video section. So if you're not looking properly and click on what looks like a video, it redirects you to a live chat session.

[BeenAroundTheWorld]

Umbongounchained three times in a row?

[UmbongoUnchained]

I don't know I'm afraid.

[AChickenNamedDirk]

Re web chat Something like this happened to me in the early and latter days of my rship with my now ex H.

I confronted him, he denied it. Tried to blame me. I took it as my fault (insecure)

That literally was the starting point of our rship spiralling down/ crumbling- because I let it go. I wasn't able to trust him but couldn't say so because it was my fault he said (I know...) it festered in an unconscious way.

Anyway to the point I'd suggest that deal with it head on now fully. Don't let it fester.

He is now my ex for a number of reasons but this is a big factor in the break down that got us here ( 6yrs ago I was in your shoes)

I can't imagine it will be better when you've got a new born in the house and everyone is pushed to the limit.