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great article on narcisstic/EA realtionship

(45 Posts)
7forasecret Wed 20-Jul-16 20:14:13

Claraoswald36 Wed 20-Jul-16 20:19:18

Thanks for posting. Omg 10 and 12. I'm not sure even hobbling to hospital bleeding to death would have excused me in exh eyes from accidentally not noticing a person behind me and letting a door go. God forbid

AprilSkies44 Wed 20-Jul-16 20:24:22

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iknowimcoming Wed 20-Jul-16 20:26:10

Sorry for your loss April, get away from your partner as soon as is sensible flowers

AprilSkies44 Wed 20-Jul-16 20:30:03

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AprilSkies44 Wed 20-Jul-16 20:31:02

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Claraoswald36 Wed 20-Jul-16 20:32:27

April he sounds foul please get out x

AprilSkies44 Wed 20-Jul-16 20:34:40

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AprilSkies44 Wed 20-Jul-16 20:39:24

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AprilSkies44 Wed 20-Jul-16 20:49:47

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bobbinpop Wed 20-Jul-16 21:02:13

The pain followed by numbness is so right. I had psychoanalysis a few years after the break up which really helped to break through the numbness and residual pain/thoughts/feelings. I really recommend it to anyone going through this!

Great article.

bobbinpop Wed 20-Jul-16 21:06:07

april, telling him anything won't work. If he wants to keep you, he will lie and say he's going to change, or sell you a sob story. Your only option is to leave, give yourself time to recover and rebuild yourself. I assure you that you will never, ever regret it after you have recovered.

Narcs make the worst parents; someone with no empathy or selflessness can never be a good parent. They can also become much more abusive when you are pregnant. My ex is now NC and I'm so thankful.

AprilSkies44 Wed 20-Jul-16 21:06:30

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Spangletine Wed 20-Jul-16 21:27:26

Brilliant article. My BIL to a tee.
Wish my Sister would leave him. Think she has reached the 'numb' stage.
April, please leave this man. Do you have friends & family support?

aLeafFalls Wed 20-Jul-16 21:27:49

Please get out, April. Don't let him manipulate you into feeling sorry for him.

I'm about a year out of a 20 year marriage to a man who did every single one of those behaviours. Eventually I was horribly damaged and could barely recognise or remember myself.

Don't let this happen to you.

Excellent article OP. Thanks for linking it.

Imbroglio Wed 20-Jul-16 21:34:49

Don't show him the article, or tell him he's a narcissist.

notagiraffe Wed 20-Jul-16 21:42:20

That's a description of my dad, more or less. I'm already dreading a party on Saturday because his sister, my aunt, will be centre of attention and he does love to spoil other people's special days with a good row because he can't stand the attention being off him.

April, I am truly sorry for your loss, but long term, you may be glad you are free to get out and stay out.

bigbumbrunette Wed 20-Jul-16 21:49:20

I literally packed up my car and drove 200 miles to get away and leave a relationship after only 5 months of living with the guy (had been seeing each other long distance previously) and he ticks every one of those descriptions. No wonder I was so damaged and to think how much worse it could've been.

AprilSkies44 Wed 20-Jul-16 22:48:14

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Imbroglio Wed 20-Jul-16 22:51:19

Look up 'grey rock'. Be boring. Be dull. No dramas. And plan your escape.

bobbinpop Wed 20-Jul-16 22:53:15

If you do decide to ttc with him, you will be giving your child a terrible father; he will expect the child to love him, but in return do nothing to take care of or nurture him/her. He will hurt and damage this child by being the person he is, with all his abusive narcissistic behaviour.

Your options are really quite simple: stay, and expect the same feelings, or worse. Expect to change, to become numb... Or increasingly frustrated and feel like you're going mad.

Or leave. Find time and ways to heal yourself and move on.

bobbinpop Wed 20-Jul-16 22:54:04

Sorry xpost

AprilSkies44 Wed 20-Jul-16 23:12:20

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AprilSkies44 Wed 20-Jul-16 23:14:31

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AprilSkies44 Wed 20-Jul-16 23:15:15

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