Hi, I'm needing some advice as I'm really trying not to be dragged into a massive guilt trip. My bf and I been together nearly 7 years and it has been up and down from the start. We have a one year old and some of the issues are similar to a previous posting [Link removed by MNHQ as the OP of that thread may not want to be cross-referenced here - sorry].
Needless to say I've had enough and really think the relationship has become toxic. It is not a good environment for any of us, especially my beautiful son. It is my home (rented) but when I've asked him to leave in the past he simply refuses to 'because of the baby'. Note: this also happened before we had a child hence the inverted commas!
I've come to the conclusion (and/or ran out of fight!) that it would be best if I gave up my flat and moved back to my home town 160 miles away. I love living in London but would not be able to afford it by myself and I have great family and friends back home (some good friends here too but no family) and would get the support I need, including childcare (I have recently gone back to work, he looks after the baby as he 'freelances' which is code for works occasionally in his case!).
When I have mentioned this in the past (moving back) he has gone mental, accusing me of taking his child off him, that it was what I always had planned blah blah blah. None of which is true obviously but I cant help but feel bad about moving far away. My son adores him, and he does love him (I've stopped saying 'good dad' as many people have rightly pointed out that if your partner is aggressive towards you how could he be?) and I have no problem with him or his family having access, but they're all making me out into a horrible person for wanting to be somewhere else.
It is all such a mess and I'm just sick of feeling so shit, I dread opening my front door sometimes, not knowing what mood I'm going to walk into and don't want my baby growing up thinking that this is normal. My family and friends are really concerned as I've lost a lot of weight, and been having some health problems (I'm normally very healthy) and they're probably right to say that it has been caused by stress. I've tried everything to make it work, including counseling, but he thinks I'm the one with the problem. I just can't go on, some days I feel like I'm going mad! All advice welcome x
oh yeah, should mention that he's said that I have to stop breastfeeding so he can have him overnight if we do separate!!! Unbelievable
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Relationships
I want to leave my partner but he's acusing me of 'taking' his child
MEVA · 05/04/2016 14:13
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