I don't know what to do anymore.
I want to be free I suppose.
I have been split from my exdp for well over a year now, he left me for someone else and as sad as that made me it was his behaviour afterwards that really knocked me.
I feel like I have tried to aim for the perfect separation but instead I think it's just created an imperfect fog around me , myself and I.
The children are happy and unaffected, well I'd like to think so.
I've worked so very hard to ensure this, I utterly dote on them, I work whilst they are at school, cook from scratch, fresh uniforms every day and house is always tidy.
My relationship with their dad is ... Probably overly nice, overly accepting - scared of hurting him, scared of becoming the ex that he hates or bad mouths --- I know I need to be less considerate of him and how he feels, I know that.
I have never used the children as a weapon, he has had the children when he was supposed from the day he left.
I don't make demands for time or money from him other than what he gives.
I just want for an easy life. I send emails and update, or converses when he emails we do get on. We have even managed a fair few dinners out together.
The children see two parents at pick ups who genuinely get on.
I have also remained in contact quite regularly with his mum, she has been good to me and the children but lately I am wondering if I am beginning to lose tolerance with her. I'm also a little disgruntled that nobody has ever really said to my ex what have you done to your family!! She emails every week - she'll then be in touch with the ex and so even if I haven't spoken to him he knows what we've been up to etc.
If I'm honest I feel a bit suffocated - I feel like I am pleasing her when I have no need to have a relationship with her anymore.
I feel like my ex has got this wonderful relationship with his ex and his children but all because I have took the upper ground, he is able to call and chat, we can do parents evenings and school plays together.
He left. He caused someone a lot of pain and maybe just maybe I am not cut out to be this pally anymore.
How do I be free but without hurting him or being seen as an awful ex in the process ? And so that my children are still unscathed.
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody
Relationships
Trying to please everyone 18 months down the line
Pleasingeveryone1 · 01/04/2016 16:55
Don’t want to miss threads like this?
Weekly
Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!
Log in to update your newsletter preferences.
You've subscribed!
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.