Long history of her being disapproving and snide about everything from my housekeeping skills to my parenting.
We went out for dinner last night with my sister, it was my sister's birthday. DSis had an affair and left her husband last year and is now dating and about to start a new job. After a couple of glasses of wine our mother went for her quite viciously about how she should never have left her ex, she's selfish and will never be happy and she doesn't put her children first, she should be thinking of them not her career or love life. It was horrible and really awkward. My sister defended herself and it all got a bit heated.
When we'd finished the meal we'd arranged for our Dad to pick us up, so said we'd call him and then wait in the cocktail bar. Mum said she'd had enough and walked home alone. Dad then sent us a text saying he was tired and we'd have to get a taxi home.
Fast forward to this morning and I went to my parents as I do every morning so we can all walk to preschool, Mum likes to come with us for the walk. When I got there she was in the shower and my Dad came down and started laying into me because Mum had come in in a terrible state because I was drunk and DSis is a married mother and shouldn't be dating. I bit back and said we'd all had exactly the same amount to drink (two bottles of wine between the three of us). Mum has painted me as some drunkard and DSis as a floozy. Mum completely blanked me and I walked Ds to preschool on my own.
I've been crying on and off about it all day. She completely ruined what should have been a nice meal out by being judgy and disapproving of the both of us for different reasons. All the while going on about how our younger sister is so wonderful and works so hard and is such a good mother. It really fucking hurts. I've never been good enough for her and she makes stuff up about me to justify being awful about me.
I have MH issues and I'm not in the best place at the moment. She seems to have decided that me and DSis are the bad ones and nothing we ever do will be good enough. She did similar at my birthday meal a few months ago but not to the same extent, I don't know why we even invited her.
I need to learn some way of getting her out of my head. Her lack of approval is making me ill, she comments negatively on everything, my house, my husband, my parenting, my children, my drinking (which I don't think is excessive and certainly wasn't last night).
Please help me. I feel stuck.
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody
Relationships
I want to learn a way of not letting my mother get to me.
BloodyPlantagenets · 16/03/2016 17:19
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