Wwyd? Not sure if you fancy someone

[OriginalSwedishChef]

If you met someone, got on well, had a few drinks and a smooch. But then saw each other again without drinking (daytime lunch date) and didn't feel much attraction, would you see them again? You find them attractive in pics and get on well with them, but you're both a bit nervy/shy around new people and their behaviour round you is a bit dopey and wet

[OriginalSwedishChef]

Disclaimer: they are nice, dopey and wet sounds mean. Not in a horrible way. Just mean very eager to please and bit timid

[Gobbolino6]

No, I wouldn't.

[OriginalSwedishChef]

Out of curiosity, would anyone see them again?

[AnyFucker]

why would you ?

[OriginalSwedishChef]

AnyFucker: because both of us were nervous and probably not ourselves. I do find him attractive just didn't on that occasion. Sometimes chemistry isn't instant. The very fact I'm even asking suggests I'm curious I guess!

[PamDooveOrangeJoof]

The fact that you are asking I would think means you don't fancy him...

[AnyFucker]

then see him again < shrug >

[PamDooveOrangeJoof]

I think people can fancy pretty much anyone when they've had a drink. The sober date shows if there is real attraction or not

[OriginalSwedishChef]

You think Pam? I don't know!

[Duckdeamon]

If you describe them as "wet" you probably don't fancy them! What was the "smooch" like?

[AnyFucker]

Sorry, love. I am being a bit snippy.

I just don't understand why you would either (1) have to talk yourself or (2) ask others to talk you into seeing someone you don't even fancy

if you have to ask the question, then you you are forcing it

it's not compulsory to have more dates if you are not really feeling it

[OriginalSwedishChef]

Wet wasn't a very nice word to use!! It's not really that accurate! It was fairly good but he was nervous and it really showed. Definitely wasn't bad. This is why I think we should give it another go but maybe with drinks again.

[BanningTheWordNaice]

Nope. Don't do it. I had a date with someone I could have described like this and got lovelorn messages when I politely and gently said I didn't want to meet up for a second date. Can only imagine what it would have been like after another date.

[Wombat87]

I wasn't instantly attracted to DP. He grew on me. Like mould . Quickly and uncontrollably haha!

It took a few dates for me to figure this out. As I got to knew him i found myself growing more and more attracted to him.

So a few years down the line, many adventures and travels together and we're welcoming in DC1 in August this year. I can't imagine my life without him. He's my best friend and soul mate.

If you're asking the question maybe you should give it a shot. End of the day you don't have anything to lose. Love isn't always at first sight.

[AnyFucker]

Bloody hell, if you need to get the beer goggles on there is something wrong

Do you need a man this much ?

[OriginalSwedishChef]

Thanks AF and no worries

You're right. It's a weird one though because he has so many amazing qualities I admire. And we barely know each other. In an ideal world id like to get to know him better without forcing things but that seems a bit naive on my part. And could be construed as leading him on

I have gone out with guys in the past with whom I've immediately known I don't want want to see again. I just feel weird about this guy? Like at first I wasn't sure but he's really growing on me. The lack of instant attraction though... I'm not sure whether this is a big problem at this stage?

[OriginalSwedishChef]

AF I'm genuinely the opposite of desperate. Have had maybe 15 dates over the last few years, with the potential for additional dates but not been keen. Permanently single, in fact never had a serious relationship. I'm 23.

[OriginalSwedishChef]

banning this guy is very polite and respectful though. We have been in contact and he seems keen to put up again but hasn't pushed it at all. Kind of left it in my court really. I do think he's keen but no lovelorn messages (have had these in the past, yes they are a massive turnoff)

[OriginalSwedishChef]

Put up again = meet up again

[AnyFucker]

"permanently single" at 23 ? Give over.

Good for you. Play the field. Keep dabbling until you find one that you don't have to get pissed to make you feel like snogging him.

[stabbypokey]

I have just gone through this. Met a guy had an amazing time, a real connection I thought and I was really looking forward to the next date. Met up and instantly thought, nope. All my friends will tell you, I don't go for looks its all about the connection for me. Booze definitely lulled me into a false sense of chemistry.

[OriginalSwedishChef]

Thanks AF you're right... But there's something about this guy that I can't stop thinking about!

Wombat id be interested to hear what your initial impressions were referring your DP?

[SquareRootOf314]

At 23 you should be entitled to a coup de foudre.

[Wombat87]

He's totally not my previous type looks wise. I go muscle/built. He's tall which I like, but more slimline.

If I were to go through the catalogue of exes id say handsome. DP is attractive, but not what I'd say I'd previously found attractive.

We're similar personality, share the same slightly disturbed humour ... All sorts of things.

Something just clicked. He went from a one night stand to something more. And here we are. That's not to say the same with you.... Just don't write it off because the initial attraction isn't there. Similar story with my bestie. She's now married with 2 DC.