Some perspective please

[Dollygirl2008]

Hi all, original post here for bit of background (sorry, but long)

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/2463347-Left-after-26-years-for-the-woman-at-work

But in a nutshell, he left me and DD after all those years. Anyway, today he took DD out for the afternoon and she saw a text on his phone from OW that said "ok babe, I love you and miss you". DD told me- bless her, she's not old enough to know any different, but it's thrown me. I mean, I know they're in love, but just having it confirmed has kind of knocked me for six. Three months on and they are still hopelessly in love - I guess I just thought cracks might be appearing and I would somehow get some twisted sense of satisfaction.

Any wise words on how to deal with these setbacks would be appreciated. Thanks.

[TooSassy]

Dolly

Setbacks are inevitable Hun. Ebbs and flows is what I'm finding.

3 months is still very much honeymoon phase (for them). And it will all still be incredibly raw for you.

How have you been getting on otherwise?

My advice is to accept that these setbacks will happen. They may happen when you least expect them. Do you have a good RL support network to pull you through. Because these emotions will pass Hun. They will. And they will come less and less frequently.

[TooSassy]

I came across this article a while ago. I know it talks about death, but let's face it, when a marriage ends, the grieving process can be close to this.

I find it incredibly helpful when I have setbacks. I know they will get fewer and easier. We just need time.

www.tickld.com/x/old-man-explains-death-and-life-to-grieving-young-man

[Dollygirl2008]

Hi sassy - that's a wonderful piece - so simply articulate but it sums it all up!

Ooooh I just don't know how I feel. Don't want him? Nope - not now. But I don't want anyone else having him, and I guess I'm waiting for my revenge on her, and to have it all F*ck up for her would do me a treat. Childish but true.

Yet it still hurts x

[TooSassy]

Glad you liked it. It helped me.

Sorry it still hurts but it's only been a short time.
I only have one piece of advice and that is to try and let your focus on him/ them go. Focussing on them/ possible revenge just won't enable you to move on. And you need to move on.

Focus on you. Your life. Investing in what makes you happy. Trying new things. Put all that energy into you.

Hugs. It will get easier.