My last serious relationship ended very, very, very badly and left me uite damaged and although I did all the right things and have had plenty of time, I have found myself being awful to my new boyfriend.
He is very new (seeing since August) and I have really behaved appalingly at times. I have apologised, but I am not sure if it's too late.
The first month I never made time to see him and would cancel plans at the last minute. After a night together I could not shove him out of the door fast enough. I even carried on dating other people (although we weren't exclusive I definitely wasn't honest about it and he would be very upset if he knew). After being so hard to get and dismissive, in the second month I flipped to being ultra clingy and pushing and testing him. Massive drama over very small things. Finishing one day because I felt his text was a "bit off".
He is a chilled out and understanding guy and he patiently talked me back from the edge of madness each time and wasn't judgemental and just discussed it until I felt better. My friends have also been amazing and have let me know it's understandable to be affected after what I have been through but that I musn't let my past sabotage my future.
I have much better control now and feel much calmer and more stable and he and I are still seeing each other and have made it exclusive.
The problem is really that I worry, despite what he says about not being fussed over it all, that maybe the damage is done and it's too late now. He says he wants to continue seeing each other but he is much less enthusiastic, calls less, ends text conversations faster and I've only seen him twice this month because he's not making time anymore.
I realise it's completely my own fault, but do you think the damage is done and can't be undone? I know he has been kind and supportive and is a great guy but at the same time I have been in the doghouse for a month now, which he denies, but which I most definitely am and I really wanted advice on how best to play it.
I am a really good girlfriend, not clingy or needy or dramatic and I have just behaved like someone else. I am not sure what came over me, I was just scared.
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody
Relationships
Making it okay after behaving badly
jackanora · 07/11/2015 19:42
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