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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Relationships

Talking about hot women with his friends

32 replies

sttf01 · 15/08/2015 21:42

Hi,
Is it ok for DH's to text their mates about all the hot women they see/work with/waitresses etc?
I've found some messages on my OH's phone (I went to Google something & it was there staring at me) and I'm really upset at how disrespectful it is.
X

OP posts:

Report

Confused1282 · 15/08/2015 21:43

I find it disrespectful, I think men maybe talk together but I think it's very disrespectful!

flux500 · 15/08/2015 21:49

I think it's one of those things you'd have rather not seen. I reckon lots of guys do this and it's just lighthearted 'lads banter' but it's better when they are discrete with it. I'm not saying it's right but it is pretty normal.

sttf01 · 15/08/2015 21:55

He seemed to have a whole stream of "banter" with one friend about it. Thing is, OH's messages were much more enthusiastic than his friend's or brother's responses...

OP posts:

Confused1282 · 15/08/2015 22:03

Tell him you don't appreciate it, I'd be really pissed off like you.

flux500 · 15/08/2015 22:03

Hmm that puts a different light on it and I would be raging! What kind of things is he saying?

sttf01 · 15/08/2015 22:06

Stuff like "you should see the talent in my office today", "so many fit arses", "i was in a meeting with a Tall blonde Dutch bird today who was so fit I nearly fell offt chair"

OP posts:

Confused1282 · 15/08/2015 22:07

Er imagine if you were texting your mate saying the same! Bet he wouldn't be happy. I don't understand men?

FujimotosElixir · 15/08/2015 22:07

I think it's the 'don't shit on your own doorstep' rule. If .y husband was oogling via text a woman he saw/worked with everyday then that's not OK. A randomer/celeb , just one of those things.

BertrandRussell · 15/08/2015 22:11

Do you want to be with someone who thinks about women like that? That's the question you need to be asking yourself.

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost · 15/08/2015 22:11

Well hands up. Who would want their dp/dh to call another women sexy, because I certainly wouldn't and if that makes me a jealous possessive bitch then. I'll wear the cap.

Confused1282 · 15/08/2015 22:12

I agree with BertandRussell there, disrespectful...

sttf01 · 15/08/2015 22:36

Told him he was a disrespectful, pathetic twat/letch

OP posts:

Confused1282 · 15/08/2015 22:37

What did he say?

sttf01 · 15/08/2015 22:40

Said he was sorry and that it was just banter with his friend and brother going back years....he would never cheat on me, flirt at work bla bla bla...

OP posts:

Confused1282 · 15/08/2015 22:43

Arsehole eh? Why are they such pricks?....

sttf01 · 15/08/2015 22:46

Semen for brain cells...

OP posts:

mmmuffins · 15/08/2015 22:46

I wouldn't want to be with a man who spoke about women that way, it is very objectifying.

sttf01 · 15/08/2015 22:49

I'm not sure I do either

OP posts:

Smilingforth · 15/08/2015 23:08

Speak to him and tell him how you feel.

sykadelic · 16/08/2015 00:10

In my opinion it's not normal for someone in a loving relationship to send those kinds of texts, especially to be the one initiating them.

I may say a guy is hot, but it would be a passing thing as it happens with the other person there with me. It wouldn't be something I was thinking about so strongly that I felt like I should have a lengthy conversation about it. Let alone a text exchange.

What is the point in pointing out someone who's hot when the other people aren't there to see it? I don't get it.

BertrandRussell · 16/08/2015 00:17

It's not normal for an man not in a loving relationship to talk about women like that!

CatMilkMan · 16/08/2015 19:30

He was having a private conversation, I'm so glad my DP isn't like so many women on this thread.

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Tryharder · 16/08/2015 20:39

He sounds about 13.

What a faff to text his friends merely to comment on a random woman.

How can he even be bothered?

I would be questioning if I wanted to stay married to someone so sad.

WallyBantersJunkBox · 16/08/2015 20:48

Next time you are DTD start vocalising clear and loud that you are closing your eyes and imagining that he is Keith from the bought ledger department who has an arse you could crack walnuts with and what you suspect to be frozen broccoli down his work slacks....

It's only a bit of banter....

shoopshoopsong · 16/08/2015 21:02

It's ok if you think it's ok. People have different expectations and boundaries. Personally, I think it's disgusting to be talking about a woman like that especially if you already have a partner

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