The last of my single friends just got engaged. I'm 31 and broke up with my ex in January. I've been on dates since, but nothing special. I'm starting to feel disheartened, and worst of all, bitter. I had a lovely life with my exDP - loved our home (rented), and was generally happy. (I ended it for the right reasons and he wasnt the one).
In the week I am fine but when weekends come, I panic and feel very alone. I have hobbies and without this rising fear of being alone for ever more, I would be pretty happy. I can't get rid of the fear and feeling like something is wrong with me.
- At weddings, I get the pitying smiles and questions about if ive met someone and 'you need to catch up.'
- Also, day to day money is tighter for me than it is for my coupled up friends who generally share homes and cars etc. I have started to notice that I am still on a budget (wasnt he case with exdp when home/etc shared)
- At weekends I feel my friends want to see me only when their otherhalf isnt around or they fit me in aroudn their own family life. I understand this because that is what a relationship is, but I still feel left out from time to time...as if my time is so free... one of my friends joked th eothr day that i was 'always flesxible' - said in a catty sort of way, which upset me a bit.
I know the advice will be to make more single friends but it isn't that easy. Most people by my age are with someone else, even if it's not marriage. I wish I coud get rid of this feeling of fear and lonliness. I want to travel and feel I cant even go on holiday as I would have to go on my own...something i never thought i would have to do at age 31. I'm quite sociable and dont like lengthy time alone like a whole holiday.
I feel like my life is passing me by while others buy homes and get married and have kids. While I have had dates, I havet felt that spark... a lovely guy told me they were falling in love with me after 4 dates, but i just didnt feel the spark with him, though i still want to be friends with him. maybe that is where i am going wrong, i'm too picky or something. maybe it's my fault for focusing in work so much in my twenties.
sorry for the self-pity - not attractive...
Feeling a bit rubbish today :(