I have absolutely no problem attracting men but I seem to be in a cycle with dating which goes alone these lines...
We meet (usually through online dating or at the pub or something) and he likes me, is very full on, very much pestering me for a date. He's texting daily..."good morning" and "goodnight" and wanting to know everything about me, wanting to bend over backwards to meet me, talk to me etc.
I am always reluctant at first because I am not great with strangers. So I take a little while to get to know them. Sometimes over a few dates, sometimes over phonecalls. As I get to know them sometimes my interest in them grows and so a reciprocal attraction slowly begins.
After the first date they almost always want to see me again, and quite quickly, and they continue being very much smitten and I quite enjoy that bit obviously. If the feeling is mutual, then I become genuinely interested in them too.
The very moment this happens, usually after 2 - 3 dates and a lot of chat where I feel some sense of intimacy developing, they suddenly cool off like the ice freezer has been switched on. I suddenly notice they are logging onto their dating profile to keep their options open again. I notice the messages dwindle off. I'm not having sex with them, so it's not that.
They generally still want to see me, but suddenly have less time, and I very much feel the cooling off and this by turn puts me right off and I feel rejected and depressed.
I'm mid thirties, and dating in my teens and twenties was nothing like this. Back then, you liked each other, no one blew hot or cold you just saw each other and it was straight forward.
I find myself feeling like I am doing something wrong here, and I probably am by not following the "rules", but I also feel like my self esteem is getting a bit batterred and I am not feeling like a strong and confident woman.
I have been single a while now...heaps of dates and a few short term relationships but 18 months properly "single" and I really miss intimacy, cuddles, sex.
I am attractive, well educated, have plenty of friends and an amazing life but none of these men really want to be with me. I am not sure if I am not palying hard enough to get, if they are all just a band of ass clowns or if I am walking away too quickly before giving them a chance to get to know me.
I am in a situation with a current man. Just had third date and a lot of chat and getting to know each other and suddenly the frost is on. Our date at the weekend he "hasnt thought about yet", he's texting good morning at 10am instead of 7am, after checking his OLD profile! and I am sitting there thinking...why the fuck do I want to date someone who does that?
Am I expecting too much?
I really want to know if this is me so I can fix it please.
I am usually quite a confident person and have never had any issues with men but the last year with OLD has really knocked the sauce out of me.
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody
Relationships
I feel like I am getting dating very wrong and putting men off me
heartofascorpio · 10/07/2015 10:52
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