Namechanged. Penis beaker, centre parcs, etc.
My mum has put me through some awful things. When I was 14 I was raped by my brother. He admitted what he had done to her before he was arrested. She then told anyone that would listen that I was lying. She abandoned me in support of my brother.
She (and others in the family) pressured me into dropping my statement by telling me he had been attacked in prison and that if he went to jail he would be murdered or kill himself and that I would be put into care.
She then threw me out at 18, whilst still supporting and housing my brother (3 years older). I was on a dismal wage and barely kept myself together, eating smartprice noodles and pasta.
She then disowned me when I got pregnant a few years later, as I had told my Auntie before her. I was staying with her for a few months when I found out I was pregnant and she threw me and my unborn child out and didn't speak to me until he was 5 weeks old.
I invited her to come and see DS and she said she had no intention of speaking to me at all, she just wanted to see her grandson.
A couple of years passed and our relationship was a lot better than it had been in a long time. No explosive arguments or dramas since my son was born.
I moved into her house whilst I was looking for a new place. Me and DS arrived about a month ago. Most times she is a bit mean to him. Constantly telling him off for normal toddler things. She doesn't do this with her first born GC, who she looks after every weekend, at her request.
We had a row on Sunday over me speaking to someone she doesn't like and it ended with her telling me to present myself to homeless.
I was heartbroke and so angry, not that she would do it to me again but that she would ever think of putting my Son out on the street.
I think that's when it hit me that she isn't a Mother/Grandmother. She's just a person. At every turn she blames me for everything and makes out I'm a horrible person who ruined her life.
I'm aiming to be out in a couple of weeks. I feel I let my son down by coming here when she would so easily put him out on the street or in a hostel with dangerous/unstable people. I never in a million years thought she would project the hate she feels for me towards my beautiful son. Aren't Nana's supposed to adore, spoil and love their GC no matter what?
I think I may move away from the borough she lives in.
How do I go the rest of my life without a Mum? 
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Relationships
How do you accept that your mum isn't a Mother?
DisappointedandAngry · 09/07/2015 20:59
There is something very wrong with the person who gave birth to you. It is a basic expectation that our parents will love and cherish us and want the best for us, sadly it isn't always true.
You go the rest of your life by building relationships with the people you meet who are decent. I have a very good friend who is a damn site more reliable and supportive than anyone in my family ever was. Worthwhile people are out there, they just aren't always related to us.
So sorry you are going through this 
Your post is harrowing. Your mother is a very damaged person and you have done an amazing job in being a survivor of the treatment she has dished out.
A good mother/grandmother should be a loving and caring woman. It is devastating when our reality does not much up to this ideal.
It sounds as if you are a very good mother and will eventually be a very good grandmother. Your mother is not and never will be.
That fact means you may be in mourning for what you never had. I hope you keep your mother at arm's length, she is toxic and not a good role model for your son.
Try to surround yourself with people who are genuinely lovely and caring. It is good that you recognise your mother's behaviour is not.
It is very hard but believe me, it will get better. I have no relationship with my mother save the odd card and I am so much happier not having to put up with how awful she was.
My children don't have a loving grandma either but we have lots of close friends who more than make up for it.
Stay strong and true to your ideal of a good mother to your own son 
It seems to me you're best advised to present yourself as homeless at your current local council's housing office tomorrow morning and look to be housed as far away from the woman who gave birth to you as possible.
If you are housed in hotel/hostel it's unlikely to be for long and you may be pleasantly surprised to find that other residents are no more unstable or dangerous than yourself
It also seems to me that you've managed very well without a mum and the best way to come to terms with this situation is to realise that it is what it is and that self-reliance, and the self-confidence that comes with knowing that you have and can make it alone, brings rewards that are denied to others whose earlier lives have been more positive.
Thank you all. I didn't get upset writing my post but reading your replies made me cry.
I guess it is good fo hear other people say her behaviour is bad. I hear from family members that I should make allowances for my Mum because she sacrificed a lot for her kids. 
She has said I don't have to go after I called her out on trying to throw a 2 year old out on the street. I have the money to private rent (just about) and don't want to disrupt DS when I can just avoid her for 2 weeks.
She is being overly nice to my DS now. Which hurts me more as I know it's fake. She is also ignoring me and making passive aggressive comments to make out I'm the one in the wrong and thus alleviate herself of guilt.
Thank you cozitosie I will look at that thread. 
What a disgusting excuse for a mother.
You come to terms with this by letting your hater be your motivator.
Let it inspire you to be a great mother and achieve great things with your life.
Do not hope that she will change, do not expect anything from her and I will promise you won't be disappointed.
And now I'm wallowing in self pity. Grip anyone? 
Wheelycote for you.
Was it difficult going virtually NC? Do you have family that try and convince you to see her?
I have family that tried to convince me to have Christmas day with my brother and the rest of them as it would make my mum happy.
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