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(45 Posts)
pieceofpurplesky Sat 27-Dec-14 15:42:18

Wondering if there is a thread where people warn against users and share stories??

I just joined and being cautious I chatted to a seemingly nice man, decent pics and profile. Told me about family and university - did puck up on odd language errors though. After a couple of days out of the blue and chatting about movies I got a 'you make my dick hard' message and since I then stopped talking and I have been called a 'professor whore' etc. now I am not naive and know this exists but the vitriol since I stopped chatting is vile ( he is blocked now)
I have reported as something also didn't add up with spelling and way of talking ( as if English was not first language ... Kind of Yoda speak!).
Is there a name and shame thread to warn others?

pieceofpurplesky Sat 27-Dec-14 15:43:08

Oh the irony of puck up errors! Typo I promise for pick up!

aeon456 Sat 27-Dec-14 15:46:08

This is just a well-known hazard of the territory. Most women are able to suss out these idiots pretty quickly as they never talk about anything other than sex and come across as very false. If you like men to give you a lot of flattery you may be more susceptible to this type though.

aeon456 Sat 27-Dec-14 15:47:12

Also, surely after one nasty message you'd just block a person like this automatically, not wait for more?

pieceofpurplesky Sat 27-Dec-14 16:10:55

Oh I did block straight away but the emails kept coming through until I sussed how to stop the link from the site. And as I said I am aware of a hazard and certainly not one to like men who flatter - we discussed university, books and education mainly - nothing suggestive in the slightest. Which is why the comment was out of the blue. I did not come on here to be judged aeon at all - just to ask if there was a sight to share names to help women not waste time on idiots

aeon456 Sat 27-Dec-14 16:32:15

People make up names on dating sites though. Also, most men on dating sites are after sex - it's a fact!

pieceofpurplesky Sat 27-Dec-14 17:10:57

I know - I am not stupid! And 'most' men you meet in a bar or club are after nothing different!

Rioux Sat 27-Dec-14 17:16:00

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

OneSkinnyChip Sat 27-Dec-14 17:18:38

I agree with the last poster lots of great men on OD sites - including my now DH wink

Fiddlerontheroof Sat 27-Dec-14 17:21:06

Ha ha, I had one that asked me for a picture of me in nothing but a pair of tights, right after telling me about his mums Sunday lunch....I told him if he wanted one, he had to send me a pic of him in tights first.....never heard from him again.....

I've been with my lovely OH 3 years now and met him on match...he had FAR worse experiences meeting women than I had meeting men....incredibly shocking!!! One that had one date, and called him up on the way home to play him a song down the phone that they would "have at their wedding" or the one that sat down with him and showed him her ring, that flipped open and allegedly contained rohypnol....and she wanted him to kidnap her....he ran away VERY fast !!!

So block, always block...but I am living proof it does work...we are very happy together...though OH is still very naive! I can completely get how he ended up in that situation!!! Lol....

todayiamfat Sat 27-Dec-14 17:24:52

OP I have joined but not paid up yet. Haven't taken the next step as it were.

I think aeon was a bit harsh.
I have seen advice on here is to meet up for a coffee quickly rather than chat and message for very long. I suppose it would be easier to spot the knobheads quicker and coffee in a crowded coffee shop is hardly commitment.
Have to say though, after 17 years out of the dating game, I am pretty scared of doing all this!

aeon456 Sat 27-Dec-14 17:37:14

I've had bfs come from dating sites too but sex was usually their initial interest. I've had a longer relationship after meeting a person for cinema but never just for a drink or in a cafe.

pieceofpurplesky Sat 27-Dec-14 17:48:19

I have many friends who have met DP/DH on dating sites. And no not all men are after one thing.

Slavetosaltedcaramel Sat 27-Dec-14 17:49:45

I know what you mean op. A name and shame group would be very useful. I have only used POF but have come across a rapist (met his victim online - was their first date) and a man currently on bail for fraud and conning women online (reported to police and appears he is still following his mo) - fortunately my intuition was spot on after speaking with them on the phone. A bit of research online and up popped their criminal activities. Deleted, blocked and reported but unfortunately POF have not yet removed them, so I would love to be able to warn other women, just in case they don't do their research and decide to meet up.

Slavetosaltedcaramel Sat 27-Dec-14 17:52:26

Do have lots of friends that have successfully found their lovely DH/DP online though - just need to be careful!
The dating thread on here is really good for advise and support ...I am building up my courage to join the thread.

Slavetosaltedcaramel Sat 27-Dec-14 17:54:46

Oops must preview - *advice!

aeon456 Sat 27-Dec-14 17:58:06

Post from the Plenty of Fish website forum:-

fishdishwish Sat 27-Dec-14 18:24:32

I've been wondering whether to give a try (I'm a bloke, BTW), as I haven't had an awful lot of luck with OK Cupid or Graun Soulmates. What are people's experiences of it like in general?

Wrapdress Sat 27-Dec-14 18:50:50

I joined Match several months ago. Have not interacted with any man yet but have received a ton of emails and what not (160+). I was able to see patterns. What you call yoda speak seems to me to be someone using an online translation program.

There are a lot of men on match using this solely for pen pal purposes - whether they are married and just want a jerk-off thing or they are from overseas and just want a jerk off thing. I am told the key is to meet them early - only 2 or 3 short! email exchanges and then a meeting or they're deleted.

I read an article recently online written by a women who fell for one of these guys on Match living far away from her - same country but hundreds of miles away. Why anyone would knowingly correspond with someone 600 miles away is beyond me, but this women did. Ultimately she flew to meet him, had sex on their first meeting at his apartment and while there she snooped around and realized this was his "thing" - attracting women to his apartment from all over the country for a one night stand. He said anything he needed to say to lure them in. It was all legal, just crappy.

I would say of the 160+ men who have contacted me about 40 live hundreds if not thousands of miles away - and that's the ones who admit it. Most of their emails are so generic they could be responding to any woman's profile. There is nothing personal to me in their response.

I love the idea of a Watch List though.

pieceofpurplesky Sat 27-Dec-14 18:55:40

We should start one!

Lunastarfish Sat 27-Dec-14 19:07:03

Block him and stop conversing with him.

I met my DP on match (I'm now pregnant) and a lot of my friends are match success stories. That said, I did get approached by a lot of men (which was supprising as I'm really not that hot) and half of them were just plain weird. A German and a French guy living in their home countries constantly contacting me (I'm in UK), one guy whose opening message was 'I don't like girls who take drugs' another who invited me to his house after sending me two messages, another who sent me aggressive emails because I was in holiday so didn't check in. I was on the verge of quitting when I met my now DP

Rioux Sat 27-Dec-14 19:34:47

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Weasel113 Sat 27-Dec-14 19:37:47

I met my wife on Dating Direct 12 years ago. I took out lots of ladies when on a different site but she was my first lady on Dating Direct...£30 well spent.

fishdishwish it's a new year soon so be positive and go for it!!!!

AndreaKaren123 Sat 27-Dec-14 19:57:59

I met my partner on oasis. 18 months we have been together . Sadly since April this year the relationship is crumbling. ... I found out he had been on dating sites. Never came off. He was my world. Now as soon as I leave the room he is on his phone. Or goes yo the toilet .... very sad

pieceofpurplesky Sat 27-Dec-14 20:04:36

I did Luna!

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