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How do you ask a man to wear a condom??

(36 Posts)
NoRoomAtTheGin Wed 24-Dec-14 22:04:38

We have both been sterilized but now after making love a few times, I would like him to wear a condom. How on earth do I ask him?? Im quite shy, What can I tell him??
Don't flame me please, its genuine

EatShitDerek Wed 24-Dec-14 22:05:27

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Groovee Wed 24-Dec-14 22:06:09

I told dh that condoms would be worn.

isitsnowingyet Wed 24-Dec-14 22:07:01

'Please put on a condom?'

starsandunicorns Wed 24-Dec-14 22:08:06

Put it on or its not comming in smile

CaptainAnkles Wed 24-Dec-14 22:08:48

You ain't jumping in puddles without your wellies.

SquidgyMummy Wed 24-Dec-14 22:09:42

Buy a packet, leave it by the bed.
He will wonder why you have now changed your mind though, so be prepared to explain.

EatShitDerek Wed 24-Dec-14 22:10:23

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

YouAreMyRain Wed 24-Dec-14 22:11:26

"Please wear a condom"
"I prefer to use condoms"
"Let's use condoms until we get sti checked just for peace of mind"
"I will just get a condom"
"Condoms work better for me because they are less messy"

BertieBotts Wed 24-Dec-14 22:12:17

"I'd prefer it if we used condoms as well because (X, Y, Z)"

Hopefully he says OK. If not,

"No I'm really serious. I don't want to have sex without one."

Stick to your guns. If he tries to persuade you that's a horrid red flag anyway. Is it a new relationship? Is it the mess you don't like? Maybe he could finish elsewhere as a compromise?

AnyFuckerForAMincePie Wed 24-Dec-14 22:13:55

Open your gob and say the words

Simple, really

Is your question how can you insist on condoms after a few bareback sessions already ?

The answer is, you can change your mind about anything at any time

NoRoomAtTheGin Wed 24-Dec-14 22:14:43

New relationship, not seen him for a while, had a brief infection so doc thought but wasn't anything. But now I feel we should be safe as I don't know him that well. We have already made love without a condom 3 times over 2 months ago

NoRoomAtTheGin Wed 24-Dec-14 22:16:12

Yep the question is. How can I ask after a couple of times with no condom IYSWIM

TolstoyAteMyHamster Wed 24-Dec-14 22:18:48

"I'd like you to wear a condom, we should have thought about it from the start."
No condom, no sex. You don't have to explain or justify.

AskMeAnother Wed 24-Dec-14 22:18:52

'Have you got a condom? No? Never mind, use one of mine...'

FolkGirl Wed 24-Dec-14 22:19:51

I'd tell him what you've said here, that it had made you realise you need to be a bit more careful for both your sakes.

JuanDirection Wed 24-Dec-14 22:21:35

Just have one to hand (by the bed/in handbag) and get it out at the moment. He's unlikely to object or to want a conversation about it at the time, but afterwards you'll probably want a conversation just to say that's how you want to do it from now on. It's fine, don't even worry about it. Maybe he's thinking the same but doesn't know how to bring it up.

NoRoomAtTheGin Wed 24-Dec-14 22:24:36

Because of the infection the doc got me tested for sti's. I was so worried and it made me realise how stupid we had been. Any new relationship I wouldn't have a problem asking, but we had already gone bareback so I realized I had to ask him to now wear one.

Schoolaroundthecorner Wed 24-Dec-14 22:27:39

You just tell him. No sex without one.

To be honest OP you shouldn't have a sexual relationship with anyone you can't say something like that to. You need to be confident enough to express what you want for it to be a healthy relationship.

spinduchess Wed 24-Dec-14 22:28:58

Always have your own, and put them on him yourself.

BertieBotts Wed 24-Dec-14 22:30:53

"Sorry I should have said before, but I'm going to say it now. I want to use condoms until we've been together 6 months and both had STI tests done." (or whatever your terms are)

It does still make sense to wear one because there's not a 100% chance of passing on an STI every time you have sex, so it's not like those two times invalidated any need to wear one now.

jimmycrackcornbutidontcare Wed 24-Dec-14 22:30:53

If I wasn't comfortable enough with someone to ask them to wear a condom I would most definitely not be comfortable enough with them to have sex. The first is just words whilst the latter is quite intimate.

lavenderhoney Wed 24-Dec-14 22:44:16

You say " I'm sure you feel the same way, and I would feel more comfortable using condoms, and lets get checked out- if we are in an exclusive relationship going forward" ie you plan to live together.

Don't risk it. and you can get tested for free at a gum clinic. If he won't, or flaps about - well, your health is more important than anything. I once had bf who was insulted by this request. I gracefully declined his need to stop condoms " I've never slept with anyone dodgy" what, you can tell by looking!? and we parted.

avocadotoast Wed 24-Dec-14 23:20:39

You buy some and then say "do you have a condom? Because I'd prefer you to wear one".

And if he says no, you bin him off!

MinceSpy Wed 24-Dec-14 23:29:49

So condom isn't for contraception and you are already having sex so why do you want him to start using them? Might be far good place to start

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