I am not here to bore you with a sob story.
I need practical tips and ideas, of how to rebuild my confidence,self-esteem become more independent in myself, to leave my husband. and realistic people to contact etc regarding certain barriers to leaving.
Does citizen advice have information?
Please don't bother with " get a divorce" let me get out the house first!
I cant deal with "just go to a refuge" ( Thats fine if that the steps you need to take, I'm not a refuge snob, there amazing , stayed in there twice growing up) please don't get the wrong end of the stick with my harshness its 2.42am. I have been crying all night. and enough is enough.
Please don't overwhelm me with things to far in the future.
I want to leave my husband.
I am very reliant on him for everything, I have 2 jobs and study, we have little kids.
We own a home, if i moved out with the kids, will there be any help to perhaps get a flat? I know you cant if you own property they want you to sell it but i cant wait till then? The reason I cant go very far from were I am is the person I am caring for needs me close ( Cant stay at theres with the kids, no room due to there equipment/machine (health related) so i cant go to a refuge as they wont be in the area. I have a friend ( she doesn't know my situation, but she left her husbands put all her stuff in storage stayed at her mums for abit to see what help she was able to get as her mums was crowded, she had to move back home because they wouldn't help her till she sold her house which would take time) Thats the only thing I have heard, not really looked into it as I don't know were to look.
What about my 2 jobs? 2 Little kids trying to move out, what will I do? I can't not go, but how do I manage to move with all that going on? Is there a better time to move out? Perhaps next Holidays when I have some days off together?
Is there things I can do to prepare to be a single mum? I have started driving the kids to nursery first thing before work ( don't laugh) I know I am pathetic. but trying to do more things myself. as he usually drops them off. Just so when it happens its less of a shock. I am scared I won't cope on my own.
Can I have contact details of people to contact?
( Dont bother with womens aid, I have been ringing them and they are very busy, and cant get through.)
Any ideas to make myself self sufficient again?
Any ideas to cope with things while planning to get out? Just make things peaceful? I'm already trying to not ask questions , because one question leads to " your complaining" "give it a rest" "stop" "no one cares" " I don't care" " I'm not listening" .. when its the first thing I've said that day. ( Again petty , but I am a sensitive little soul.Just need tips how to not let things get to me? Let it go over my head, with the end insight.
I am really not in the situation with the whole " leave with nothing" because I am staying in this area to care for a family member.
Again, I am not being a brat, I understand the tone of my post is not acceptable for a first post but i haven't got much time. as he is home in 3 hours. Please accept my apology for not doing an introduction.
I just need practical help. real ideas, I sit here scrolling the internet, typing my question in Google, to see what advice other people have given other women in my situation. it left me wanting to stay put. because the advice was " get a divorce" woah im not there yet " sell the house". yes but i need to get my head right" " get out now while you can" okay can you give me some tips to feel confident enough to leave? It really isn't the case of put one foot in front of the other. and please don't say " do this for your kids" because if you knew how hurtful that was to someone who does everything for there kids. I am trying , that's why I am here, so don't make me feel bad. Let me have this one safe place that I don't have to run from.
Disclaimer, kids are safe and well, and nothing happens around them.
I cant cry any more. I cant keep waking up saying "im leaving" and not doing anything.. I know I can do this, but tiny steps, as I am so lost. If i had the money id move out right now and get a little place. simple. quiet peaceful. no more egg shells.
- I am not expecting you to solve my problems for me. Please dont say anything negative, I know I put myself out there so I should be prepared for what I get, but please someone just try and help.
A list is always helpful. Also , I'm not isolated, I have friends, I work, so its not how it seems, He is isolated, has no friends, refuses to make any because he says I am all I need. He is the one that moved here and has no one. So I have huge guilt for wanting to leave.