Ok..have posted before, but will try make this easy to follow...just need some opinions.
Basically, I have had no contact at all with MIL since 2 weeks after our wedding when she screamed down the phone at me that she didn't consider me part of her family. This was the last straw for me after 12 months of being nasty when we were planning our wedding and then deliberately trying to ruin our actual wedding day! (and our honeymoon).
So, I haven't spoken to her for over 14 months now.
DH has 3 times now tried to bring it up with FIL and MIL and said he believes they owe me an apology but each time the phone conversation ended in either screaming (on their side) or just plainly refusing to listen to what he had to say.
In the meantime, we have had another child. DS is now 7 months old. They have never met him.
However, our DD turned 2 recently (they've only met her 3 times due to all the nastiness etc, the last time being at our wedding, when she was still a baby) and a huge box of gifts arrived for her at my parents house. (I might add my parents don't want anything to do with all this and would rather not be involved, so found the whole thing very awkward)
Fast forward a few months...DH's siblings are now refusing to talk to him, although one of them did respond but was openly rude and refused to say why they weren't talking to him. PILS have now not contacted DH at all for nearly 5 months.
I firmly believe that the story MIL told about the wedding and everything leading up to it, and after it is very very different to the actual truth. DH's grandparents (on one side) have not sent birthday cards etc since it happened. Mind you, MIL didnt' acknowledge DH's birthday either this year (not even a card)
So...Christmas is round the corner, and again PIL's have turned up with a box of presents for our kids to my parents house. This time I just told my mum to open everything. Lovely present from DH's other grandparents (for both the kids and ourselves) but not even a card from PIL for us. A present for both children and a card saying how much they love them
DH spend last night in tears that his family have seemingly cut him off but still want to play happy families with our kids. His family have never been one for actually talking to each other but basically, since the whole wedding fiasco, DH has been the one making all the effort and when he stopped, they just never contacted him again.
What should we do? Frankly, I feel like sending a card/letter saying that unless they're willing to have a relationship with at least their son (even if they hate me, their DIL) they should stop sending gifts to grandchildren they don't even know. How can they say they love them when they don't even know them?! Actions speaking louder than words etc.
The best bit of all of this is that they are very religious, attend church every Sunday! Surely they should be looking at their own behaviour!
I can't see at the minute how this is going to get resolved. DH doesn't know why they've totally cut him off, I've quite enjoyed not having to deal with PILS but worry now how this will pan out over the coming years if we don't do something now. Kids are getting older and will start asking questions. Also, I hate how they've involving my parents by dropping stuff round at their house!
Any ideas?
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody
Relationships
Confused about toxic PILS and need advice!
Pengyquin · 07/12/2014 12:43
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