Hi Everyone,
I'm not one to post anything about my personal life but I need some advice regarding my wife who is receiving inappropriate messages from her work colleague.
My wife and I have been married for 5 years and we've been together for 10 in total. We are happily married and things are good in our lives, good jobs, nice house, etc but I have one problem which I don't know how to remedy.
To give you an overview first... My wife is a hard working person, she loves her job and although it can be stressful at times she wouldn't be doing anything else. She isn't someone who makes friends easily so when she does she keeps hold of them. She has recently become good friends with one of her male work colleagues who is now apparently one of her best fiends.
The issue is that this work colleague (who has a girlfriend and who my wife's knows) sends her texts every day which I find a bit weird as he does work with her so does he really need to text too? but I know that men and women can be good friends and chat. But I have seen some of the texts that he sends to my wife and they are not appropriate IMHO. His messages have included...Asking her what she is wearing to work the next day and if she can wear a particular dress as he likes that one and other messages asking if she has sex toys, etc. I'm sure there are much worse messages but I don't want to look/know as it will probably make me feel worse.
I know she receives these messages as if I really want to know she tells me what he has written but she shrugs it off saying he's only playing and he's just a typical bloke and there's nothing in it. Now I am very happy that my wife isn't replying to these messages in the way he wants her too, she actually ignores them and tries to change the conversation but that doesn't stop him and she doesn't tell him to stop either.
The issue isn't that I don't trust my wife because I really do!!! But I feel awful and almost cheated on, everytime she gets a text my mind races wondering what he's written. I am right by thinking that another guy shouldn't be texting anything like that to another mans wife let alone a work colleague? Right? Can he just be messing about?
I have approached the subject before and she gets very upset saying 'do I want her to stop being friends with him even though I know she doesn't make friends very often?'. I don't want this as she isn't the problem, he is! And besides she works with him so they would be friends no matter what I ask.
I'm tempted to talk to him directly and ask him what he thinks he is doing, probably at the works Xmas party which is soon. But again I feel that my wife should deal with this not me. Or shall I just learn to deal with it knowing that she doesn't respond in the way he wants her too so there's no real harm done.
Any advice greatfully received.
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody
Relationships
Man texting my Wife, advice needed...
Justanotherguy · 21/11/2014 10:34
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