I am a regular but have name changed. Purely because I am embarrassed to be in this situation. I may be totally paranoid and overreacting. so if I am please give me a virtual slap (of you recognise me please don't out me, I have family on here and would rather this stay private).
I have been married for a few months now. everything seemed sickeningly perfect. I thought were both very happy and enjoying our life together.
then a few weeks ago DH started acting a bit strange. Every time my phone made a noise he would ask who it was within seconds (doesn't really bother me as I have nothing to hide, was just getting ott). Whenever he rang me from work he would ask if I was alone. I would reply that yes I am and he would then question it saying "are you sure, you sound weird" . I have been alone on every occasion he has asked this.
He then started to randomly ask things like would I ever cheat on him. which I have always replied of course I wouldn't and I love him to pieces. By this point I am (silently) getting sick of his blatantly paranoia and insecurity as I have honestly never given him reason to feel that way. I realise people can become insecure sometimes. God knows I have in my life. But it was starting to become an everyday thing.
It came to a head last week. I had been very ill with pregnancy related illnesses but was starting to feel better. Every day after work he would come home and question why was I dressed? why was I wearing make up (when not ill I wear make up everyday)? had I been out? had I spoke to anyone? seen anyone?
I'd had enough at this point. I had tried being sympathetic and reassuring him. But there is only so long I could do that without wondering why the fuck are you being like this?
I'm not proud of it and I hate myself for it but I snooped on his Facebook. I wish I hadn't because now I have become the paranoid one.
What I read wasn't exactly incriminating but made me feel confused and sad. He had sent a message to a woman who attended our wedding. she was a guest of a family member. He had told me he didn't like this woman because she was obsessed with him at one point and always flirted with him. I told him it was just one day and we will be too busy to care so just let it go. anyway, he had messaged her a couple of days after our wedding, (whilst we were on our honeymoon!) saying how good it was to see her, how great and nice she looked etc etc. He hadn't messaged anyone else in regards to our wedding day so why take time out of your honeymoon to message someone you apparently don't like to tell them how nice they looked? she either didn't reply or the replies have been deleted. All messages before that day were him contacting her first asking her to ring him. so I think it was the other way around to what he made out.
There were messages to other woman. nothing sexual but lots of phrases like 'babe' and 'darling' and basically speaking like he would with me. He has previously moaned at me for referring the a (gay male) friend as 'babe' as he sees it as flirty.
There were messages back and forth between him and a woman I know. who he apparently contacted on my behalf! I never asked him to do this. But the general gist of the conversation was that he thought she was lovely and all I ever do is moan and annoy him I thought we had been happy.
so that's it. No sign on a blatant affair but a lot of stuff that doesn't sit right with me and made a huge pit in my stomach. I can't look at him the same now. He has been questioning me when really it should have been the other way around. Should I be feeling so angry and sad? am I overreacting?
I wish I hadn't bloody well looked.
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Relationships
Not sure if I am overreacting
paranoid2014 · 01/11/2014 13:08
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