... And I don't know what to do. DS is inconsolable. DH left. No reason (have name changed and there is no one else so please do not come here if that is all you can say as I am devastated enough without having to battle that as well).
It has been going on for a few weeks since he decided to tell me he loved me but was no longer in love with me. He stayed for Christmas, DS birthday and an operation I had. Then this morning I woke up and he is packing. The only reason he can give is that he has been unhappy as I have not been there enough for him (had a miscarriage, dad had heart attack and close family member died in last 14 months).
I have to sell the house, find new schools (can't afford the area and DS in year 5 so need secondary application tomorrow - we live in catchment of only decent school).
There is no way round it. He is the big earner ( but CSA payments are still shit). I will have to look to go back full time but still won't be able to take over the mortgage. He has said that he will need money to fund his own life!
I'm so sorry you are going through this. You do not need to make any rapid decisions, wait until you have calmed down, and until you know what his plans are. Just get through today, try to eat, spend the day with your DS.
It doesn't seem like it now, but you will come though this and you and your DS will be fine.
Oh, you poor love. Reading your first post, it occurs to me that he should have been the one there for you with all you were going through. What a dick. Definitely go see a solicitor, and be prepared to fight for the support you and your child are entitled to. I am so sorry this has happened to you, and fuming on your behalf. Why are some men so bloody selfish and irresponsible?
Hup - see a solicitor - don't tell him what your solicitor says to you. Do not agree to anything, esp in writing. Just say 'ok, thank you for letting me know what you think. I'll have to think about that and get back to you'
With DC you may be in a stronger position than you realise re the house, especially if your career was/is disadvantaged due to DC. They need a home.
Take your time. Don't feel sorry for him, guilty, worried, sad. This is now about you and your DC. He has chosen to look after himself, let him.
Sort out contact arrangements ( outside your house) when you feel ready.
I am so sorry your are hurting and I am sure you didn't plan on being married to a child - not there for him enough - but even so this will all be a shock.
I have no legal clue at all but surely you can't be made to leave the house when you have a child in school who needs to stay settled? That is so unfair. Your man-child has decided he wants out so he should have to pay.
You poor thing.. I think I remember your story from earlier. I'm sorry he's gone
Don't make any hasty decisions, you need proper legal advice. Yes he may need money to fund his 'new' life, but sadly his 'old' life isn't just going to disappear.
Make sure you've got the ds uniforms etc ready for the morning and lunch stuff. Remember to feed him! Drink some yourself but no
Gather together bank statements and your marriage certificate and if you have a joint account, transfer the money into your account. Change passwords on online banking.
Tomorrow, you need a solicitor. Is there anyone in RL who can help you...?
I know you must be devastated. Please remember though that he has been thinking about this for a while. And his thinking is therefore ahead of yours. Someone on here once said, when someone tells you who they are, listen.
As others have said, don't assume things re selling the house & so on. Although he sounds like a right selfish wotsit with this: He has said that he will need money to fund his own life! He has a responsibility to fund his child's like first & foremost, and if you need to stay in the family home because of schools&so on,then you need to stay.
It really will, if any of the many threads I have read on here over the years are anything to go by. Whatever the future brings has got to be better than what you had before he went. Living with a person who can't cope with not being number 1 when life gets hard.