I have been with my partner for 10 years, we are in a committed long term relationship, both work full time and rent a house which we have lived in for 8 years.
We have spoken in the past, usually after a bottle or two of vino, about marriage and kids. I have always said that ideally I would like to be married before having children and he said he felt the same but I suspect he doesn't feel this quite as strongly as I do.
I am currently 20 weeks pregnant, it wasn't exactly planned but was a nice surprise and we are both delighted even though it wasn't part of our life plan quite yet. I had flippantly dismissed the importance of marriage before but now that I am pregnant I can't think of anything more important (other than the baby)
The main reasons are -
My partner to have full parental responsibility should anything go wrong before registering the birth
Emotional security
Financial security as I will most likely be giving up work
His financial security as the savings account is in my name
For us all to have the same surname
To call him my Husband
I have tried to broach the subject about parental responsibility and need for a will / solicitor advice before the baby is here as we are not married. I half jokingly (tongue in cheek hinty hinty don't try to sound too desperate Bunty) said it would be easier and cheaper to get married, and how we would only need both parents there as witnesses and how neither of us are interested in the big white church do. He kind of mumbled agreement then changed the subject. We had both decided that the baby would take his surname but after reading some advice on the net, I'm now not sure.
I know I should just have this convo with him but I don't want him to marry me just because I want him to, does that make sense? It would feel reluctant and like I am dragging him along for the ride. I can make hints but he isn't the most observant and I would still feel like I was pressurising him, I'm not normally one for playing games either. WWYD?
I can't believe I am sounding so crazy, I always felt like I would keep my surname when married keep my independence etc etc. Now this squiggly thing in my tummy has changed all of that.
Can I blame the hormones?
Thanks if anyone got to the end of that!
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Relationships
Pregnancy, hormones and marriage - wwyd?
BuntyCollox · 18/02/2014 13:40
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