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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Relationships

How the hell can I signal that I like him without embarrassing us both?

51 replies

FlirtingFail · 05/11/2013 19:40

I like a guy at work. I REALLY like him. He is single. I am single.

I have a very 'professional' work persona and am hopeless at flirtation. He is quite quiet, and due to my massive crush I feel a bit shy around him too. (Not at all normal for me.)

How on earth can I subtly signal to him that I like him, without putting him in an embarrassing position if he is not interested? I think he might like me too, but I can't be sure, and don't trust my judgement in any case.

I just don't know how to do this kind of thing at all. PLEASE HELP!!!

OP posts:

Report

brokenhearted55a · 05/11/2013 19:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

FlirtingFail · 05/11/2013 19:44

Thank you for saying I don't have to flirt! Actually, we have something like that planned. Am just a bit worried that I will be too brisk and it will kill any potential chemistry.

OP posts:

ShatnersBassoon · 05/11/2013 19:44

Ask him if he wants to go out for a Greggs sausage roll fresh air with you at lunchtime.

FlirtingFail · 05/11/2013 19:48

OK, I can do that. Any tips for coming across as (potentially) more than just a colleague/mate? My workplace is very male dominated and I have developed this really desexualised persona.....

OP posts:

MuffCakes · 05/11/2013 19:49

CAn you not do that light up your eyes and face smile?

ShatnersBassoon · 05/11/2013 19:51

Ask him if he wants to touch your knockers?

You just will be more sexual by being out of the office and being with a man you find attractive. You won't need to do or say anything in particular.

FlirtingFail · 05/11/2013 19:51

I can try! How's this:

He is good at eye contact so I will reciprocate.

God, I am such a wuss, and the fact that I really like him is not helping. This is like being 14 all over again.

OP posts:

FlirtingFail · 05/11/2013 19:52

Thank you, Shatners, good pep talk. I will keep the knockers line up my sleeve.

OP posts:

ShatnersBassoon · 05/11/2013 19:54

It's a winner, I tell ya.

FlirtingFail · 05/11/2013 20:00

OP posts:

Gossipyfishwife · 05/11/2013 21:02

Ok Flirting, I am going to put the spoilers on this. You work together, yeah? What if you get together and then break up? How will your working relationship proceed? What if it does work out and you call each other pet names in front of your coworkers? Who will provide the sick buckets? I can just imagine you and him going full french in front of your boss....(ok, that's a lie) You need to think this through

FlirtingFail · 05/11/2013 22:50

Yep fair points.

We are both fairly discreet types so I think we'd keep it under wraps/discreet at work.

There is a risk it would go wrong. Which could be awkward, but we don't work in the same office or anything like that. So it wouldn't be the end of the world.

You have to bear in mind that I NEVER meet anybody I like - so despite the work factor, this one seems too good to dismiss out of hand. Don't 70% of people (made up statistic) meet their partner at work??

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Gossipyfishwife · 06/11/2013 00:42

Yup. That's where I met mine. Ruined my life. I speak with much personal pain.

Ok, here's a tip. Roll up your sleeves and display your inside arm. From your wrist to almost the elbow. It will tell him all you need him to know. Trust me.

Lavenderhoney · 06/11/2013 07:06

When you chat with him, don't just talk about work- you know, did you have a good weekend? What did you do? Are you coming to the works drink on Friday? I'd like to go as I haven't been before, all that kind of stuff. So its personal, not just talk about work.

Its nearly Christmas party season- ask him if he wants to arrange it with you and have to go and try venues. If its already arranged, ask him if he is going and look fabulous.

FlirtingFail · 06/11/2013 08:05

Gossipyfishwife - really sorry to hear that. I am pretty risk-averse so I hear what you are saying. Intrigued by the inside arm though - will give it a try. Just hope he doesn't think I am about to shoot up!

Lavender - thanks, good tips.

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ToTheTeeth · 06/11/2013 08:18

I think fishwife needs to put the projector away. Lots of people have workplace relationships and manage it just fine. You're adults, of course you're not going to be inappropriate at work, and if the worst happens which will require you rolling your sleeves up first then you can just be mature and deal with it.

Lavenderhoney · 06/11/2013 09:34

Thanks- be aware though that people in the office have a full on radar for anything:) they will know before you..

fromparistoberlin · 06/11/2013 09:54

GO FOR IT! people do meet people at work, fact

smile, talk alot, do that arm thingy (!), show some cleavage, eye contact. see where it goes

but def ask him for lunch

and yes EVERYONE will be going "hmmm look at flirtingfail, and crushman going for lunch, orr er" , oh yes!!!!

ReturnofSaturn · 06/11/2013 10:01

What is this arm thingy people are referring to?

FlirtingFail · 06/11/2013 13:13

Arm thing = rolling up your sleeves and displaying your inner lower arm...apparently it can't fail. I am going to try it today - with everyone in the office wondering what the hell is going on! Or does everybody but me know about this, and it's the equivalent of putting your hand on his thigh?!

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Lavenderhoney · 06/11/2013 16:45

I've never heard of the arm thing! All those missed opportunities:)

Oh yes. Everyone in the office is probably already watching with interest:) I know I would be. Although in one office I was in a couple conducted their entire relationship under everyone's noses and we only found out as they were getting married. They were like chalk and cheese though. I mean, even when they married we thought it was a hoax:)

Its winter though, won't you look a bit odd, going sleeves less? Unless you slide off your jacket and say " its so HOT in here" direct eye meet- when he comes into your office.

If he runs away you will know he's not interested.

I love an office romance. Makes the day so interesting:)

Jan45 · 06/11/2013 17:22

Smile, smile and smile, that should be enough encouragement.

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Kikithecat · 06/11/2013 17:31

Don't worry about the working together bit! I met my dp at work and so did half the people I know. It's great because you've got to know the person usually quite well before dating.

MadeMan · 06/11/2013 19:31

I don't understand the showing your lower arm thing either. I can't say it would work on me, I'd probably think the woman had been doing some washing up or something; certainly wouldn't think it was a come-on.

poocatcherchampion · 06/11/2013 19:37

yes I got together with the quiet guy from work too. he is tiling me a bath currently. he was a winner

go for it. please keep us updated too!

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