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How serious would you tell your 30 year old self to be about finding 'the one'?

(101 Posts)
Lastgasp Sat 31-Aug-13 12:05:36

I should say I don't actually believe in 'the one', but there are people we would want to marry/have kids with and people we would not.

I am approaching 30 and have been dating a lovely man for about six months. We have fun, I'm happy, but I know I don't want a future with him. There are reasons but I don't feel the need to unpick them here, as to me they are valid, and when you know, you know IYSWIM.

My question is, how long should I allow a relationship that makes me happy to continue, if I'm potentially missing out on locking down something long term? I frequently read posts on here by women who say that dating/meeting someone just gets harder and harder the older you get. I sometimes worry that I'm fundamentally immature and turning a blind eye to the fact that everyone around me is getting married etc. Should I continue with something that makes me happy until it naturally tails off, or do I need to be a bit more ruthless about finding someone I do feel a future with? This isn't really a biological clock issue as I absolutely don't want kids now, but I think I do one day.

I should add that he's never seemed fussed about marriage/babies etc so I don't feel I'm wasting his time at the moment.

Lastgasp Fri 08-Nov-13 08:58:39

Pinkpinot I'm sorry you've been through that.

MadBusLady if that man existed I would be smitten, but I've not met him yet, or at least not who's interested in me.

We weren't split up for very long, 3 weeks tops. But it was a busy time at work and I did see lots of friends etc so I wasn't sitting at home moping and watching Bridget Jones. But it's possible I just didn't give myself time to break the habit of him. But you're right in the phrasing, maybe I am challenging people to congratulate me for growing up but secretly hoping people give me a kick up the arse. I'm not sure I put much stock in blinding flashes though, I think slow realisations tend to be more stable.

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