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The Pyscopath is starting again?

(147 Posts)
CCTVmum Tue 20-Aug-13 01:19:27

If anyone knows me please dont out me. To frightened to use old MN name.

It has been a wonderful few months or should I say nearly a year of peace. No trouble at all since 2012.

I had made plans with help info from here. My main goal to move to be free from any more threats to my and dc life.

Told by mortgage advisor I do not earn enough. They asked did I get maintanence as this counted as wages!

As I dont I thought I would apply as ex doesnt live in UK. I was 100% sure CSA would just say ex moved abroad and close case. I have not heard back from CSA mind you so this could be the outcome. This was 2 weeks ago.

Anyway my senses have gone in overdrive last few days and cant sleep. I decided to check ex blog and low and behold! The title refers to me. His NN for me since we split. The most freaky thing was ( so not even the demonic voice put on) was a weird american sounding childs voice (possible digital enhanced?) of child referring to ex using the nickname I had for ex when we were together (many many years ago).

ex names a night of an attack, but it refers to via FB?

Now thing is if I go to the police they will lock ME up thinking I am nuts!

Welcome to Gas Lighting Infurno <sigh>

Any tips/slaps/hugs welcome as my PTSD has returned 10 fold! But hoping the hypervigilence will keep me awake\alive

SunshineBossaNova Mon 26-Aug-13 21:57:17

So glad you had a good weekend CCTV, that's fab news. Big hugs.

garlicbargain Mon 26-Aug-13 22:43:47

smile flowers smile

DoubleLifeIsALifeHalved Mon 26-Aug-13 22:58:38

St Patrick's Breastplate - prayer for protection (Esp from evil wishing), also called the Lorica (cry of the deer)

Short version:

"Christ with me,
Christ before me,
Christ behind me,
Christ in me,
Christ beneath me,
Christ above me,
Christ on my right,
Christ on my left,
Christ when I lie down,
Christ when I sit down,
Christ when I arise,
Christ in the heart of every man who thinks of me,
Christ in the mouth of everyone who speaks of me,
Christ in every eye that sees me,
Christ in every ear that hears me."

Full length version is very long but also more specific long version

CCTVmum Tue 27-Aug-13 07:48:20

Doublelife that is a lovely prayer thank you.

I have had so much kindness from strangers (even though known some of you years) it is touching and GB you are very very welcomesmile

I am back at the isnt a 'home' as that is somewhere safe and happy! That man made sure he truly destroyed that for ds and I.

If their is such a thing as Kama why hasn't my ex received a fair share from what he has done to us alone?

The fear factor has reduced now Sat and BH weekend over. I am so glad I got through the weekend and nothing happened to us, if anything a fantastic weekend smile

CCTVmum Tue 27-Aug-13 07:52:51

thanks Sunshine too your support meant a lot!
Imperial thanks for your offer too if it happens next time I will let you know send you links too. But am really really hoping this stops now!! If only police could talk to him I am sure it would stop but he isn;t breaking the law so nothing they can do! Community officer may come round today too? But again nothing they can do...just having the support is nice though after all these years.

turbochildren Tue 27-Aug-13 16:23:34

Just to say so pleased you got away for a couple of days! It's amazing the difference it makes, and things stand out clearer. At home it all can become a muddle sometimes.
Good luck with your next move away from creepiness! That community officer comes round to check on you is also lovely, it's good to know someone's looking out for you where you are. smile
Karma is for next time around... ;) (Again, not my cup of tea, but it can't be ruled out completely now, can it?)

CCTVmum Tue 27-Aug-13 23:17:02

thanks turbo
Community officer never came round but not sure when that will be if ever but police know I am home now. Really dont think they can do anything anyhow as couldnt when ex was attacking my house (told need proof) so got CCTV and then told that he was only driving past on CCTV so excuse my negitivity about their input.

Speaking to my mum tonight on phone and I have decided gated apartment with cctv and 24 hr conceige and underground parking is my next move! Dont know how ds will cope with that from detached house and needs quiet at night to sleep due to super sensitive hearing a part of his autism. Feels like prisonsad

The ex has still got control as being forced to move as my life has been hell since giving birth to ds. Before I was stubborn and would not give in but 10 years of trouble on all different levels of bullying I feel broke and too old to cope with the stress.

Really don't know how I would have got theough last few years without all your support MNs thanks

garlicbargain Tue 27-Aug-13 23:40:31

You would have done, because you are fantastic and resourceful and people want to support you smile

Do you think you might be feeling any differently, now, about renting your house out in order to rent a secure apartment for you & DS?

DoubleLifeIsALifeHalved Tue 27-Aug-13 23:58:06

Well done for getting through the days and not letting him get you back in an awful place again.

Glad you liked the prayer, I was thinking if I was at home alone and terrified about some maniac desperately trying to get through to satan / evilness, then this is what I'd be repeating to myself.

I do think he sounds like a disgusting mess who is mixing and matching all sorts of ideas and fakery to play at talking to the devil and make himself seem important... In reality hes a revolting crumpled sad little man... But it's hard to think that at the dead of night when the fear gets to you.

He sounds like he's always on the watch out to suck you back into his web of freaky nastiness, and you have to be so so strong to not let him pull you in. So hard for you.

CCTVmum Wed 28-Aug-13 00:24:48

Hi Garlic, I cant let my current home out as it is mortgaged. You are not allowed to do that and if found out it is criminal offence so I would never dream of it. So as you can see truly stuck! I was told I could remortgage and use money to buy another house but was told my credit score bad and could only borrow 7K.

I have to sell house is only option. This will take some time even if I sold it tomorrow! But I know they have not really sold since 2008!

But the huge audience ex has now Garlic I am hoping he is distracted for a while wink

Double I agree, I was told by Victim Support that this 'man' is doing this to me as control of me (most vulnerable person re lives alone no physical family support in terms of family to physically protect or shelter me) and disabled ds I am an easy target to get his kicks (literally physically most of the time). It feeds his bruised and small ego ? having to do this to me. Sad thing he knows he can and has done got away with it as very clever in doing it re stalking me out until no one here etc just ds and I. my poor ds has been terrified his f would kill him from 4 years old with the actual attacks. Couldnt hide it from ds as ds usually awake when door kicked etc and if not when police came I had no one to mind ds and would have to discuss it infront of ds.

It really upsets me that ds f wants to harm his ds and mum. But its all about control on his part I was told!

I was told by one witness who spotted ex 3 times all in all that ex was doing it to us in hope I run to him for help as he as done his best to not be seen doing attacks etc. So we would depend on him for protection and ex would have foot back into our lives again.

However I think what victim support manager told me tbh about control and easiest target for him to help keep his ego high and control too is the reason.
But yes again home and dont feel safe anymore...he has stolen my safety and home comforts. I do hate the pyschopath for that.

WayHarshTai Wed 28-Aug-13 06:51:56

CCTVmum that isn't necessarily true about not being allowed to let out your home. Most mortgage companies will allow you to, you just need to check with them first.

CCTVmum Wed 28-Aug-13 08:12:50

Yes I checked and I cannot let it out Way
I looked at swapping mortgage lenders but hefty fee too as tied in. I feel trapped. I have not got the funds to move either. I just feel defeated and have to run away to get some peace and reduce the risk and try and get a life back for ds and I. without finances its going to take a while but so is finding a buyer.

WayHarshTai Wed 28-Aug-13 08:38:46

Could you tell me a bit more about the attacks?

Are you having any kind of treatment (CBT, counselling, meds) for your anxiety?

I am concerned that you are seeing more to the attacks than there is, if you see what I mean. Im not doubting he's a nutjob, but I do wonder if because of his veiled online threats, your mind is racing and you are having more anxious reactions to sounds outside, glimpses of strangers and cars than is necessary?

I have been reading your threads for a very long time and I'm sorry if I have it backwards, but that is the impression I have got. I am worried about you and your DS, but not because of your ex.

AintNobodyGotTimeFerThat Wed 28-Aug-13 11:47:00

I am glad you have had a good weekend and nothing eventful happened.

I too expect that this psycho is just trying to scare you and is doing a good job - but you never can be sure with these types of people if they are idle threats or not.

I am wishing you the best and hope you don't hear anything else from this nutter.

garlicbargain Wed 28-Aug-13 14:37:16

That stinks about your mortgage lender's policy! I wonder if there's a way round it ... sometimes a request for special circumstances can work, if you ask higher up the decision chain.

I agree with the PP who said that not having a credit history works against you with credit scoring. Well-maintained mobile phone accounts, catalogue accounts and small-sum credit cards all boost your score.

Also, not wanting to teach my grandmother to suck eggs & all, but have you checked with Experian and Equifax that you're not being held responsible for debts incurred by your loony ex?

To fellow posters who've asked: OP's ex is a downright nutjob. He has physically and verbally assaulted both CCTVmum and her son in the past & is a serious control freak. The CCTV was installed by the police, iirc. The fear he's created in them is real and justified: the woo bollocks is simply another part of it, enabling him to retain 'control' from a distance. Obviously the way forward is to break free of that residual fear, so his batty behaviours look as pathetic to OP as they do to the rest of us, but that is a complicated process and anything that helps to reinforce her sense of sovereign control over her own life will be worth doing smile

CCTVmum, you're doing absolutely great! You know that, right?!

CCTVmum Thu 29-Aug-13 00:59:49

Way my ex has won with the gaslighting when people question my sanity and not his! I dont expect anyone to understand unless they have been gaslighted themselves.
This isnt an anxiety reaction, this sadly is reality! actual sightings and attacks Way 19 I think or was it 20 the last time? I dont count now as they have reduced significantly since I got CCTV thankfully and no I dont even look or think about him coming here hence I had not posted much in last several months as I got my life/job back etc and things looking good! Until last week when I intutively knew something was up and checked and the song was put up day before.

thanks Garlic for explaining for me as I really know people are going to think I am crazy when I try to explain it all. I feel a lot better you have stepped in for me to keep an eye so I am not feeding that twisted mind of his. He might even then get bored and stop altogether if he thinks I have not checked?

But I think he will be a bit knarked if I disappear as he will have no one to have fear or control over! I just hope when I can leave he can't find me. As I discovered on here it is so easy to track someone down!

CCTVmum Fri 30-Aug-13 09:17:52

Two community police officers came yesterday. They were lovely and said they would keep eye on my house more. That is nice to know hopefully ex will turn up as they walk past.

They said bet not to look at website or dont check cctv (I dont anymore) but if I do and happen to see something on blog then screen shot it (but have not a clue). This can be saved to count as evidence then get solicitor to get injunction. Sounds very complicated!

I am not going on ex blog again as dont want to feed ex with my fear that makes him worse. So thankfully Garlic will do that side of it from Oz IP etc smile

LoisPuddingLane Fri 30-Aug-13 09:21:19

Doing a screen shot is not difficult at all. On your keyboard (presuming it's a standard keyboard) there should be a button that says "print screen". The way I use it is to then paste the image into Microsoft Picture Manager and save it.

turbochildren Fri 30-Aug-13 09:33:45

I knew the CPO would come round, because the police up and down the country takes DV very very serious now. I had a short chat with the officers helping me about it, and it was stated clearly that the police used to be shite but have now realised they have to take it seriously. As, obviously, it has pretty serious consequenses for so many.
So yay for that!
For me, and a friend who's had an ex harassing her, just the fact that someone sits down, talks to you nicely and actually listens to what you have to say, is half the battle won.
I hope now you feel validated CCTV (is that the right expression?) and can make strong decisions for yourself. The cavalry has arrived smile

garlicbargain Fri 30-Aug-13 12:12:13

Good news that the police are getting to grips with it now, Turbo!

CCTVmum Sat 31-Aug-13 09:34:57

Thanks Lois, I can screen shot! But realised last night how do you screen shot a tune? As it is what he says in the song that is threatening not what he writes.

Yes turbo I feel they are taking it serious now and they said 'in light of the amount of previous attacks'. This is sad 'now' they are bothering as I was in a lot more danger when ex nearly got front door open as I lay asleep in bed at 4am 2 years agosad
So glad they took your situation serious too now also. I think their has been a change in law? Or is it the lives taken as a consequence of the police not listening to these women? Stay safe x

garlicbargain Sat 31-Aug-13 13:37:50

One hugely significant change in the law is that the CPS can now prosecute domestic violence. Previously, the victim had to make a complaint and many would withdraw it (unsurprisingly.) Now the police can go ahead and do DV perpetrators; as long as they've got their own evidence it doesn't matter whether the victim changes her/his mind.

There have been two other vast improvements, as well: the police can remove a perpetrator and get an injunction to keep him away from the home (he can be arrested for breaking it,) and the legal definition of domestic violence has been expanded to include mental, emotional, verbal, financial & sexual abuse.

All absolutely brilliant moves, and it's so good to see the police training programme is making a positive impact smile

As an aside: In my experience, there was always a very high incidence of domestic violence amongst police officers. They used to tell themselves they weren't breaking any laws - which, shockingly, was true. I wonder whether these changes will filter through to police households? It may even happen!

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