I want to go no contact with my narc mother, but I feel like I'm overreacting and being silly and selfish, and cruel. Short previous thread here. It's been about 3 weeks now since I sent her a text saying I wanted space from her. After a bit of an argument she's left me alone since then.
It's been fantastic having no contact with her. I've felt free and unburdened. I haven't missed her in the slightest, and although the kids have asked about her a handful of times they haven't missed her like I though they would. I really would like to have no more contact with her for the foreseeable future, (not sure how I'll feel in a few years time).
I was kind of putting off making a decision on whether to or not. She texted me tonight just asking how me and the kids were. It was a bit of a shock because I'd gotten used to not having to worry and get anxious every time I pick my phone up in case it's her. DH said not to worry and I don't have to text her back straight away. But I'm thinking I don't want to text her back at all. Would it really be so bad if I didn't?
My childhood wasn't abusive, I wasn't neglected or abused physically in any way. I went to school, had holidays, had a nice house, nice clothes, friends etc. But...on the other hand my mother basically controlled my life. It's almost like I wasn't able to think for myself or make my own choices. She never did it obviously it was always very covert. She never liked any of my friends, would make me feel guilty if I wanted to go and play out whilst she was alone. She's manipulative and controlling and emotionally blackmails me all the time.
She's caused so much trouble in my marriage over the years, she's already started with the emotional blackmail on the kids. She's interfered in every part of my life since I was little. My relationship with my sister is almost none existent because of her jealousy. I only started to have a proper relationship with my dad when they got divorced 17 years ago.
I feel like I can't justify cutting contact with her (or stopping her seeing the kids) because my childhood was normal. Because she's not a bad person just a selfish one. There are people who's childhoods were far worse than mine that still have contact with their parents.
I know that I'm the only one who can actually say whether I should cut contact or not, I guess I'm almost looking for permission to do it.
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Relationships
What made you go no contact with your mother/parents?
ReginaPhilangie · 07/07/2013 22:04
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