20 years ago, before he and I even knew each other, DH caught herpes from a one night stand. He said it was horrific at first - blisters, sores, pain, itching, swelling, then after 10 years it died down a bit. DH is now obsessive about not passing it on and the shame that would occur if he did. He will not have sex or any sexual contact at all when he has an outbreak and that is every other month.
The problem is, he spends about 2 weeks a month unable to have sex. considering that the third week of every month I am on my period (DH is a muslim and does not like having sex on period) that leaves 1 week a month (in between work stress, tiredness, illness, kids) to have sex. In some ways this is great because it makes the likelihood of DH having sex outside of our marriage very low indeed, but I am so incredibly frustrated and sometimes my mind plays tricks on me - maybe DH doesnn't want to have sex with me? Maybe this is the perfect excuse?
Whenever I complain he makes the point that he is protecting ME, so it's very hard to ask for anything. When I say could we have some sexual contact even if we don't have sex he says he finds it hard because he feels "disgusting" and disgusted with himself when he has an outbreak.
Anyone else out there understand the herpes thing or have a DH with herpes? Is it really like this all the time?
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Relationships
DH and herpes
moleavenger · 24/05/2013 16:27
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