So we've been together 10 years. Married almost 7. We have a DS with a slight disability and are now expecting baby no.2.
DH has aspergers and our relationship can often be difficult. I have lived in his home country since we were married (here in the UK) because to me moving abroad to an English speaking country wasn't too intimidating. Since I've moved here my younger sisters have moved to the UK to be closer and my parents make the effort to visit more often. I do go back, but not always once a yearwhen I go back it's mostly due to my DH's agenda (holidayconferences and business trips). When we were agreed to my moving to London he promised me that any point I became homesick I could go back--whenever I wanted. This never happens. I'm desperate to just visit my country again.
The lack of holiday to my home country isn't really the problem though. Two years ago DH made a very risky move with regards to work; he left a very safe and well paying job to become a partner in an established but risky company. I agreed to it because it was his dream job and he had worked quite well in the years prior to establish himself and his credibility.
At this point in our lives, we knew there was something not 'typical' of our ds's development and decided that the back up plan in the case of DH's new job not working out would be to get a really good life insurance policy (I have a problem with surprises and I freak out when I don't have proper financial planning in place please note I have never had nor will have any intention on killing him; just too messy; things like that always get found out and I love the butt-face).
Within a week of joining new job he decided it wasn't for him and left. We were okay financially for a bit but our savings had a limit on them and I really worried about him finding another job before some random tragedy hitso the life insurance policy made me feel a bit betterknowing if my husband got hit by a bus our DS whose needs were becoming more and more obvious would be well looked after.
He eventually found a job within the right field within 6 months so my worrying came to an end quickly (also it was just like his dream job--but right for him this time).
So today we start talking about the budget and I find out he never took out the life insurance policy he said he took outand is now saying that leading me to believe he had wasn't a liebut a 'misunderstanding'.
Thank god my sisters are here because they remember the entire ruse of the doctor doing his check up in our house and DH signing all the papers. However my sisters don't see a reason for me to be upset.
DH has decided that I am wrong and has decided to go take a nap.
Tell me I'm not wrong for being upset. I'm sure I can't be--I'm livid. It's been a two year long lie. I'm furious and sad and I just feel marginalized again and again over what is important to me and what he wants to call a 'misunderstanding'.
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Relationships
it's the lying thats the problem.
QueenofWhispers · 27/04/2013 13:29
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