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Internet dating....Does it get better?

(38 Posts)
whitewineintherain Mon 25-Mar-13 23:44:46

I've been single a while, I don't have any many friends or much free time due to having DD, so thought I'd sign up to internet dating.

Signed up to POF but so far the majority of the people who have messaged me have been people in their late teens/ early twenties. (I'm 21 but have specified on my profile that I'm interested in older guys.)

One man message me who sounded ok so after a week talking on POF we swapped numbers, he then started texting a lot, even when I said I was busy with DD. I once went to my DP's for a weekend, told him I was turning my phone off while I was there, turned it on to find 104 text messages from him, some quite nasty. I told him not to contact me again and blocked him.

Another was really nice, almost perfect but just as we were about to meet, I got a text from him saying he was going to have to cancel as his wife found out. shock

Afterwards I took a couple of weeks off POF and recently started using it again, however I still only seem to attract men who clearly haven't read my profile or are married or asking for a threesome etc etc.

So does it get better? Should I carry on or should I just give up and become a spinster for the rest of my life?

whitewineintherain Mon 25-Mar-13 23:45:36

Oops, sorry, that was longer than I intended.

bamboozled Mon 25-Mar-13 23:49:22

Looking at DH I'd say yes grin
Exdh not from Internet and a fuckwit!

bamboozled Mon 25-Mar-13 23:50:48

You just have to be savvy - lots of weirdos out there.
Guardian soulmates or telegraph dating, depending which way you swing in the political wind..

bamboozled Mon 25-Mar-13 23:51:51

What's POF, (sorry for drip feeding posts)

whitewineintherain Tue 26-Mar-13 00:01:38

Plenty of Fish, a lady from a baby group recommend it but I'm now wondering if she secretly hates me. grin

bamboozled Tue 26-Mar-13 00:04:42

Haha - god it's crap isn't it!! But, yes, wouldn't have met DH without it - so worth persevering - and I had lots of dates which entertained my lovely but smug still-married friends!

showtunesgirl Tue 26-Mar-13 00:08:37

Yes, keep at it.

My friend who had been devastated by his long term partner leaving him twice to go off with someone else went online. I have to say that he is absolutely gorgeous and my best mate drools over him.

He met a woman who is unbelievably gorgeous as well and they are getting married in a few months.

It's actually how sickening how perfect the two of them are. Both are dazzling beautiful, intelligent and lovely sweet people who are very well suited.

They met on match.com if I recall correctly.

whitewineintherain Tue 26-Mar-13 00:12:42

I've got quite a few stories that entertain my non-single friends.

I'll persevere then and hope I get as lucky as you. Thanks.

whitewineintherain Tue 26-Mar-13 00:14:26

X-post with Showtunes, that's nice to hear, so there's definitely hope then.

TranceDaemon Tue 26-Mar-13 00:27:50

I met my wonderful DH thanks to POF! There are a lot of idiots, just have very high standards and dump and block at the first sign of game playing/weirdness/general insanity.

Trust your instincts and look for those who message and call when they say they will and who sound honest. Talk on the phone fairly soonish, you can only tell so much online and a call gives you more insight.

UnrequitedSkink Tue 26-Mar-13 00:27:54

Isn't POF the free one? I think if you pay a subscription fee you will at least be meeting people who are serious about meeting future partners rather than quick hook-ups?

niceupthedance Tue 26-Mar-13 06:40:01

You could try okcupid it's also free and less weirdos.

IWantATowel Tue 26-Mar-13 08:02:17

hi, I met my bf on pof just over a year ago. There are some good'uns out there but you have to swerve a lot of shite too. we hit it off over a common interest, always a good starting point!

WarmFuzzyFun Tue 26-Mar-13 08:06:15

Look at the weirdo's, odd balls as entertainment until the main act arrives, it can be good fun grin.

bluer Tue 26-Mar-13 11:39:23

Met my dh there...I'd say 3 things. Don't encourage and sex chat...these people are not for you. Check profile carefully and make sure it all adds up. Don't waste too much time texting an mailing...arrange a safe meet up in daytime. My Dh emails didn't do much for me but when we meet I knew he was for me. On the other hand I spent ages mailing and phoning a guy but as soon as we had a coffee I knew that there's was no click.

whitewineintherain Tue 26-Mar-13 19:11:07

Thanks for all the replies, I'll keep trying.
I'll have a look at okcupid, hopefully there will be fewer weirdos. smile

ElegantSufficiency Tue 26-Mar-13 19:37:34

I'd be careful about expressing your wish for older guys on a dating site. That is just like every pervy man's fantasy. Put a cap on it I say.

If you find a site with fewer weirdos good luck.
If I were your age, I'd join a hockey club or a drama club. 21 is very young to be doing internet dating.

Shinyshinyface Tue 26-Mar-13 20:01:59

Okcupid gets my recommendation too.

LittleChickpea Tue 26-Mar-13 20:25:52

My friend has just got engaged to a man she met on an Internet dating site. I think it was match.com. But she kissed some frogs and went on some dates with weirdos/stalkers (in a hundereds of text type of way) before meeting MR Right.. I say give it a go you never know. Just carefully vet them first and enjoy.....

whitewineintherain Tue 26-Mar-13 20:32:10

Elegant I do have a cap on the age limit. I'd love to join some sort of club but as a single mum I find it hard to find a regular babysitter and pay for one, also I live in a large village with only a couple of clubs on in the evening, neither of which appeal to me.

whitewineintherain Tue 26-Mar-13 20:51:06

Just signed up to okcupid, hopefully it will be a bit better. smile

girliefriend Tue 26-Mar-13 20:55:58

Hello I am shock at the 104 texts - that is freaky!!

I have done pof and have now signed up to match, pof was not great lots of weird quite strange blokes. Match is much better, had a date last night and he was normal - yay!!

My advice is save up and go for match!

whitewineintherain Tue 26-Mar-13 23:52:22

shock What is with 104 texts? Do they think that's the limit and 105 is just too many? Or maybe it's the same guy?
Will give match a go if I have no luck with either POF or okcupid.

whitewineintherain Tue 26-Mar-13 23:53:29

*What is it with 104 texts? blush

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