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Relationships

Seeing a side to him I really don't like

41 replies

SallysSong · 11/01/2013 12:17

Partner and I have been 'unofficially' living together for the past month or so. I say unofficially as he's still spending two nights a week at his own house when he has his children.
We're currently saving for a deposit for a new house which we intend to buy together. We're hoping to move in about 6 months - therefore we have 6 months to trial us "Living together" in my house to see how we go.

Well just lately I've seen a side to him I'm really starting not to like. Firstly he's coming across as being really stuck up. He says stuff like "I'm not used to houses like this" (meaning my little ex-council house) and "the houses I've been looking at - the type I'm used to ... " (meaning big and posh basically). He said last night "I've been looking in this area but we need a decent area (meaning not my area!) and you need a cul-de-sac at least" why??? So we can keep up with the Jones'?

Another thing was "something that does my head in about your house is that all your plates and stuff have chips in them" - well I'm sorry for not having the money to be able to replace stuff whenever I want but if it bothers you that much you're welcome to replace them for me ... right??

And aside from all this nonsense I'm starting to wonder if he has a problem with my kids. He's always been great with them - fantastic infact and they love him but when he's talking to just me he whinges about them like says my eldest is childish for his age and acts girly and he's constantly complaining about my youngest one these days, doing impressions of him when he's playing up and zoning in on stuff he's done and going on and on about it. He has behavioural problems and a special needs statement but DP never seems to remember or even care about this. It surprises me how intolerant he is considering his own son has special needs (which I'm CONSTANTLY reminded about).

Another red flag for me is that he seems to see his own kids as being absolutely perfect and mine as being crazy, hyper hooligans. Like last night I said before we move in together the kids are going to have to meet. His reaction was "oh christ that won't happen for a long time, my lads couldn't cope with that". I said "cope with what?" and he said "well, to be honest I can't see my lads wanting much to do with your two. Your two are so inquisitive and hyper and my lads will just want to be left alone to do their own thing."

So in other words, his kids are too good to be mixing with my two? have I got that right?

Before anyone asks why I got with him in the first place, he NEVER used to be like this. He wasn't snobby (used to say about how his days being brought up on a council estate made him and he made the strongest friendships there etc) and he used to say my kids were great and he loved being around them and that my DS was similar to his DS and they'd get on great - now it's like the two will never meet as my DS will scare his DS away and he'll never see him again!

Infact, last night he almost said that he was scared his kids won't want anything to do with him after they meet my kids and are forced to spend time with them. His exact words were "My eldest might say "your house does my head in so I'm not coming around anymore" - this was blatently directed at my kids wasn't it.

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BelleoftheFall · 11/01/2013 12:21

It sounds like he thinks he's better than you and your children. And that he's entitled to criticise and pick at you.

...honestly, I'd tell him to take a hike. You and your children deserve more respect than this. I think these are true colours emerging here.