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I don't know what to do, I cannot cope with all of this

(187 Posts)
SantasStrapOn Sun 11-Nov-12 01:51:33

S'me Stratters. I cba to name change and you'd all guess it was me anyway.

I have nobody but my DDs. No family. My family are v v toxic and I was the scapegoat. No friends. I cant bring myself to trust anyone enough. Apart from the DDs, and people like the dentist, my GP, the only people I 'talk' to are my XPILs and my XH. I don't leave the house, I am terrified of everyone and everything, and I have no trust. This time last year I wasn't quite so bad, but it's steadily got worse and worse.

ATOS, in their wisdom, decided that I was perfectly ok. They lied and said that I went on my own (I didn't), and put the opposite of what I said down. I was interviewed by a physiotherapist FGS. I appealed and was told I wouldn't get a tribunal for 18 months. That was in March.

I filled in the paperwork. Made it very clear that it was impossible for me to represent myself, told them i had noone who could attend for me, told them the real version of what happened in my interview. Told my GP what had happened. Went to see my old Psychiatrist, who I've seen on and off since having DD2. I'm having fortnightly counselling but have only just started. I know I need to sort this out, but it's so hard without any support. I have nobody to ask to represent me, and nobody has offered to.

I planned to get a letter from my psychiatrist and counsellor, and send it as supporting evidence. I spoke to the DWP, who said it was clearly a mistake and not to worry.

Today I got a letter from the tribunal service in Peterborough. The appeal was held on the 9th. I had no forewarning that it was going to take place then. Nobody told me.

My appeal has failed. I have no fucking idea what to do next, and I can't cope with even thinking about it. I have never felt so alone and helpless.

SantasStrapOn Wed 14-Nov-12 21:04:49

Will do, thank you rhonda.

I think I've replied to everyone, I hope I have I appreciate each and every message so much. You've all been great, and it has helped me so much.

Off to the GP in the morning. smile

flyoverthegoldenhill Wed 14-Nov-12 22:44:07

Stratters - good luck for tomorrow darling wine thanks

RandallPinkFloyd Wed 14-Nov-12 23:04:15

Just wanted to pop back on as I remembered you saying you had an appointment tomorrow.

Glad the ol' vipers have been able to give you so much good advice.

Good luck for tomorrow, I'll be thinking of you. thanks

(hope your DD is enjoying being back in school)

CouthyMowEatingBraiiiiinz Wed 14-Nov-12 23:15:20

Stratters, I am going to see if I can think of anywhere that may be able to help with the failed WCA shite, but I'm inundated myself right now, so it'll be at least tomorrow afternoon before I get a chance to post anything I find out on the thread.

Just wanted to let you know that I will have a pootle around, I might have some names and stuff in a notebook somewhere <<vague>> that might be helpful.

I am here listening, and if you need to rant about the crappity crappness of the WCA for MH issues and variable conditions, I'm willing to join you! grin

SantasStrapOn Thu 15-Nov-12 10:41:36

Thank you everyone for the positive thoughts, etc.

I have had some fantastic help on here, been given a draft letter to the Tribunal Service, and have been given help sorting out with the CAB. I can't tell you how much I appreciate and how thankful I am to you all for your love, kindness, and help.

THose of you who've supplied practical help - I couldn't do this without you, and I thank you SO much for everything you've done.

I have a home visit booked for the 29th, with the CAB specialist. I am feeling so much more positive about this now.

Thank you, love you thanks

SantasStrapOn Thu 15-Nov-12 10:42:22

Oh and Couthy, they are a bunch of atrocious cunts, I shall never vote Tory again as long as I live.

flyoverthegoldenhill Thu 15-Nov-12 15:20:42

Stratters my dear you know they are not cunts .......they do not have the warmth or depth grin
<I know, I stole it from the boards>

SantasStrapOn Thu 15-Nov-12 17:02:21

This is very true. grin

flyoverthegoldenhill Thu 15-Nov-12 21:31:18

I hope today went well thanks

Selks Thu 15-Nov-12 21:41:16

So glad to hear your update Stratters, that you got to the docs today (hope that went well) and that you have a home visit booked from CAB. Very well done for those things. One footstep forwards after the next, etc, then before long you will have walked a mile. x

CouthyMowEatingBraiiiiinz Thu 15-Nov-12 23:34:52

Sorry I haven't had a chance to look at my notebooks today, I will get to it tomorrow, I've just had a shitty day of mega proportions myself today. I'm sure that I have two names that might be helpful wrt the WCA appeal though.

amillionyears Thu 15-Nov-12 23:43:36

Only just seen this thread.
Glad you are getting some help and support.
Best wishes Stratters.

Selks Sat 17-Nov-12 19:06:52

Hi Stratters, how're you doing?

I saw this link and thought of you. I can't fathom the detail but possibly it may be of some help - how to gaqin exemption from Atos decisions

Selks Sat 17-Nov-12 19:07:10

agh - GAIN

ccarpenton Sat 17-Nov-12 22:06:11

Hopefully your Psychiatrist will be able to help. The information in your original post wasn't nearly as shocking as what was glaringly missing.

Listen very carefully to your Psychiatrist and be open to their suggestions. Try to ask him/her what you can be doing to improve your situation.

Please, please listen.

SantasStrapOn Sat 17-Nov-12 23:25:17

Thanks everyone.

What do you mean ccarp? What is missing?

Sunnywithachanceofshowers Sat 17-Nov-12 23:38:41

Hello lovely Stratters

Glad things are moving on and you're feeling a bit better smile


amillionyears Sun 18-Nov-12 15:55:00

SantasStrapOn, I possibly wouldnt take much notice of ccarp. He/she popped up in the middle of another thread in relationships, with a lot less than helpful advice to the op on that thread.

SantasStrapOn Sun 18-Nov-12 16:22:06

Thank amillion, I did PM them, but didn't get a response. That helps a lot, I've been worrying about what they meant, and appreciate your post ;)

SantasStrapOn Sun 18-Nov-12 16:22:38

That was supposed to be a smile

ccarpenton Mon 19-Nov-12 20:48:06

"SantasStrapOn, I possibly wouldnt take much notice of ccarp. He/she popped up in the middle of another thread in relationships, with a lot less than helpful advice to the op on that thread."

It's "she". I think I know the other thread to which you are referring, because it was the only one where I wasn't trying to help. That woman was being a martyr. SantasStrapOn is not.

Got your PM S.S.O. and have responded - all the best.

Claire X

SantasStrapOn Mon 19-Nov-12 21:39:18

Thank you cc. Can I just say that cc's PM was very helpful, and very thought provoking, and I really appreciate her taking the time to PM me with a response.

amillionyears Mon 19-Nov-12 22:13:17

Fair enough.

MmeLinDude Thu 29-Nov-12 10:55:25

I missed this, but can see that you have been given excellent advice, so I will just add my best wishes and send you all lots of delicious <virtual choc>

SantasStrapOn Thu 29-Nov-12 21:14:36

Thanks Mme.

Saw the CAB specialist today. She confirmed what a lot of you have said, that they have contravened rules by not informing me of the tribunal date, and depriving me of my right to give additional information, etc.

She's writing to them to get the decision overturned. And she's going to help me sort everything out. I feel so much better.

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