Seem to have FB messages blocked?

[comethasmybrokentelly]

A ex on FB, lets call him John , lives in New Zealand. Realistically I will never see him again. That's fine, no desire to meet, relationship was not a big deal. Nice, however to reconnect , share job and family news and stuff.
This is really a techie question. If he sends me a message on FB I get no notification. If I think he maybe has sent a message I have to click on his name, then on message, then on show message history to see any messages from him. It's as if someone has blocked either :

A) my Ability to receive his message (without hunting for it) , or,
B) his ability to send me a message that gets notified. Ie maybe at his end someone has configured it so that I don't get notified of his messages.

I think his wife, whom I don't know may have put some kind of blocks on.

Is this possible? Thanks all

[exexpat]

Are you FB friends? Because if not, the messages are probably going into your 'other' message folder and you don't get notified of them.

[comethasmybrokentelly]

Yes we are FB friends. Messages are not in other folder. Not in normal message folder either. Only visible if I go to his page and hit message

[comethasmybrokentelly]

I just checked. If I do a search with his name in my message inbox any past messages do come up. But I don't get notified and they are never at the top of my message inbox even if they have just been sent

[Looksgoodingravy]

Does anybody have access to your account?

[LadyFlumpalot]

Sounds to me more like someone is accessing your Facebook and reading his messages before you are.

Do you have a smartphone with Facebook on, or an iPad? Have you logged in on another machine and not logged out?

[comethasmybrokentelly]

Yes my husband and kids , I never log out, but I don't think they are interested in changing my settings or anything.

[comethasmybrokentelly]

Smartphone, iPad and laptop. I don't log out, got nothing to hide!

[Tobagostreet]

ladyflumpalot is suggesting that they are READING your messages before you not that anyone is changing your settings.

TBH that was my first thought too.

[LadyFlumpalot]

I suspect someone is going on your Facebook then. I have all my settings at the tightest security ad a setting like you describe just does not exist. Or, if it does I haven't found it.

Blocking would mean you couldn't swap messages, contact each other or see each others profiles. As as far as I know you ant turn off notifications. You can turn off emails and phone notifications but not the actual red numbers on Facebook.

I'd log out of everything then see f the same thing is still happening.

[Tobagostreet]

sorry - just realised you were answering looksgoodingravy

[LadyFlumpalot]

Please excuse my spelling, on phone. It's shite.

[comethasmybrokentelly]

No, def not reading my messages, at least not in this house.
I'm not sure I have explained the problem.


If he sends me a message ,
Firstly, I don't get a notification.
Second, if I click on messages and my recent messages are displayed in a list, with most recent first, his is not there, even if it has just been sent a moment ago.


To find it I have to go to his page, click on message ( as if I was about to send him one) then click on message history and all the messages we have ever exchanged will be there , including the one he only just sent.

[Looksgoodingravy]

Someone is reading your messages before you, that's the only explanation.

[comethasmybrokentelly]

All this makes me wonder whether there are other people sending me messages that I don't get either

[Looksgoodingravy]

Do you get notifications through ok, does it display as red on fb page? Is it only messages?

[comethasmybrokentelly]

Looks good how would that explain it?

[comethasmybrokentelly]

I get the red notification on FB for all messages but not for his. And when I click on messages , his is not there no matter when it was sent

[LadyFlumpalot]

Hmmm, doesn't sound like anything I have heard of. Maybe a glitch. Unfriend him, then re-friend maybe?

[comethasmybrokentelly]

It's very odd isn't it ?

[disembodiedHandbagCrab]

Just had a look. You can delete message and delete conversation. Perhaps if a message is deleted but the conversation isn't its there but not there. You can also direct someone's messages to your other box and then I don't think you get notifications. It could be a fb glitch, perhaps to do with timezones, or something else.

Maybe it's an opportunity to reflect on your communication with your ex and why you're posting in relationships when you're sure it's a fb error.

[comethasmybrokentelly]

I put it here because I know the relationships board gets lots of traffic and FB comes up a lot here. Nothing sinister . Did you read the part about my FB being open should my husband or children be the least bit interested in taking a look ?

You might be right about deleting messages but the conversation still being there. I could test that easily enough. Will have a go

[comethasmybrokentelly]

Just tried it, it's not that. Must be a glitch

[Looksgoodingravy]

If you click on message on his wall it then opens up a message page, do you have three dots in the right hand corner? this is what comes up on mine, if I then click onto these dots it gives me Alert on/off options. Didn't know about this until now, could the alert be off for your 'conversation'?

[LadyFlumpalot]

Looksgood Ohhhhh, I didn't know about that!