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How often do your dc see their grandparents?

(59 Posts)
Sexyfothermucker Thu 25-Oct-12 21:17:58

Just that really. My two ds only see their grandma(my mum) once a week for about forty minutes, if that. Sometimes not at all for two weeks. Their grandad (my dad) never bothers. Twice a year if they're lucky, and they don't seem to bothered by this at all (the grandparents not the dc). Is this the norm?? Or am I right to be a bit pissed off?

PinkSoccerMum Thu 25-Oct-12 21:19:25

My parents 1-2 times a week. Pils 3-4 times a year.

Welovecouscous Thu 25-Oct-12 21:20:33

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

scentednappyhag Thu 25-Oct-12 21:21:36

DD sees my grandparents about 4 times a week, my mum about once a fortnight, my dad once a month, DH's mum once every 3 months ish (not because she lives far, she's just more interested in her other grand kids) and DH's dad twice a year (he lives a five hour drive away).
I don't think there's a 'normal', if you're unhappy with your arrangement, talk to your parents about it and see if they're willing to visit more?

Jakadaal Thu 25-Oct-12 21:21:48

My parents every 2 weeks at least. My FIL every 2 months (and always at our invitation/suggestion) MIL and SFIL about twice a year sad would like dc to see ILs more but not my choice

WentworthMillerMad Thu 25-Oct-12 21:24:35

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ShowOfBloodyStumps Thu 25-Oct-12 21:24:42

Lots and lots. MIL pops in most days, often takes dd to school. We also have dinner with them once a week if possible, probably every 6 weeks or so we stay there for the whole weekend. We also go on holiday with them. Went camping in July for example.

My parents visit every Thursday for the whole day, stay for dinner and do the bathtime/bedtime routine with the dc. We try and see them at the weekends too if possible. Now that she's at school and doesn't have the whole day with them on a Thursday, DD stays at theirs overnight one night in every school holidays as well. We also go on holiday with my parents for a week every March.

PinkSoccerMum Thu 25-Oct-12 21:25:59

Meant to add PILS only live 40 minutes away I wish they were more involved with DS but it has taken 7 years to get this far.

Iggly Thu 25-Oct-12 21:26:17

ILs every weekend.

My mum, they've met her 2-3 times in their short lives (oldest is 3)

Crikeyblimey Thu 25-Oct-12 21:26:18

We don't have either of my parents anymore (dad died 31 years ago, so ds never knew him, mum died earlier this year - before then ds saw her once a week for an hour or so). Pils live 300 miles away, so we go for the weekend about 5 times a year.

flossy101 Thu 25-Oct-12 21:26:23

My parents twice a week. DH parents once a week.

NellyBluth Thu 25-Oct-12 21:27:59

My parents every fortnight, though a few of those times have been 2-3 night stays, a few times on her own (9mo). They do only live a 45 min drive away. MiL has seen her 5 times, FiL about half a dozen but has just done his first time looking after her alone.

On the reverse side, my SiL hasn't even acknowledged the existence of DD grin

Do you feel you DCs will miss out by not having a close relationship? Do they have other people in their life who fulfill a similar role?

But YANBU.

barbie1 Thu 25-Oct-12 21:28:08

Twice a year maybe three at a push, one of the downsides of living an expat life sad

Sexyfothermucker Thu 25-Oct-12 21:31:28

Some of you are so lucky. I feel so sad that my own parents just don't seem to be interested in my dc. sad
I've tried to speak to my mum about how I feel before but I end up being upset and feeling like I'm in the wrong.
This started when I had my second ds. My mum and dad used to watch his older brother for me every Sunday while I worked ( my dh works shifts so only gets one in every 3 weekends off) then when I had ds2 my dad told my mum he didn't want to be tied up every weekend (1 day) with children as he wanted to spend his only day off with my mum. This left me up shit creak without a paddle and I had to leave my job. Fast forward to now, and this is how it is. Feel so sad

HopeThisIsRight Thu 25-Oct-12 21:31:38

DS sees my parents 2-3 nights a week but speaks to them everyday on telephone. He sees DH's parents 1-2 times a year (they live 200 miles away though)

DioneTheDiabolist Thu 25-Oct-12 21:34:20

Do your parents work OP?

GwennieF Thu 25-Oct-12 21:34:50

We see DH's folks every week, sometimes more.

My DF hasn't seen them for 18 months and DM not for a year; DS is 3 and DD is 2, so they've missed quite a bit of their lives so far. They do live abroad but come to see my DSis's and DB's kids several times a year. It would appear that the NE is too difficult to get to.... or that they can't be arsed - one of the two!

madwomanintheattic Thu 25-Oct-12 21:35:27

Paternal gp's twice a year, maternal gp's once every two years.

It all works out fine. Nice for you that they were able to offer so much support when ds1 was tiny.

peppapigpants Thu 25-Oct-12 21:36:25

Mine only have one set of grandparents, other grandad died before I met their dad, and grandma died when they were 7 and 5. My parents see them about 2-3 times a year and we live 250 miles apart. My mum came up 3 weeks ago and that was the first time we had seen her since March. We haven't seen my dad since March as he's been working away since May.

My sister lives ten miles from my parents...I haven't seen her or spoken to her since last Christmas, and won't do until the next time we visit my parents (which won't be this Christmas, so might not be until next summer).

ATourchOfInsanity Thu 25-Oct-12 21:36:41

There's only my dad as Exp's family haven't met her and live abroad and, at the moment, he is pretending she doesn't exist...
So she sees my dad every month or so, for a weekend. Not enough really IMO!

Sexyfothermucker Thu 25-Oct-12 21:37:17

Nellybluth there is nobody else who can take this role on, as it were. My dh mum doesn't bother with them either. She's too wrapped up in her dog and the granddaughter she so desperately wanted. (When I had my eldest she whispered "can we swap him for a girl) angry

I don't think they're missing out, but their friends talk about stopping over at their grandparents house. I just wonder what goes through their little minds sad

madwomanintheattic Thu 25-Oct-12 21:38:22

Maybe just get a childminder if you want to work? I can understand them not wanting to have such a committed timetable themselves- however much they love their gs's that essentially makes their care a second job, not a treat.

Minshu Thu 25-Oct-12 21:38:36

PIL, 200 miles away, every couple of months for an overnight stay at theirs or they have a weekend with us. My Gran for an hour or two every couple of months as she's in a residential home 200 miles away in a similar direction to PIL, so we detour to visit her when visiting PIL.

My Dad and DSM, not often enough as they are 3000 miles away, but have spent a fortnight with them twice in 3 years.

My Mum died 18 years ago, and she would have been a lovely Granny. sad

Glittertwins Thu 25-Oct-12 21:38:44

My parents see them pretty much every month, outlaws barely once every 3 months despite living a lot closer than my parents and them having loads of friends in the area that they are always over here to see (used to be very local). They don't seem to want to bother with inconvenience of us.

Sexyfothermucker Thu 25-Oct-12 21:39:46

My dm works 3 days a week. My dd full time but has weekends off. Both are 9-5.

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