How often do your dc see their grandparents?

[Sexyfothermucker]

Just that really. My two ds only see their grandma(my mum) once a week for about forty minutes, if that. Sometimes not at all for two weeks. Their grandad (my dad) never bothers. Twice a year if they're lucky, and they don't seem to bothered by this at all (the grandparents not the dc). Is this the norm?? Or am I right to be a bit pissed off?

[PinkSoccerMum]

My parents 1-2 times a week. Pils 3-4 times a year.

[scentednappyhag]

DD sees my grandparents about 4 times a week, my mum about once a fortnight, my dad once a month, DH's mum once every 3 months ish (not because she lives far, she's just more interested in her other grand kids) and DH's dad twice a year (he lives a five hour drive away).
I don't think there's a 'normal', if you're unhappy with your arrangement, talk to your parents about it and see if they're willing to visit more?

[Jakadaal]

My parents every 2 weeks at least. My FIL every 2 months (and always at our invitation/suggestion) MIL and SFIL about twice a year would like dc to see ILs more but not my choice

[ShowOfBloodyStumps]

Lots and lots. MIL pops in most days, often takes dd to school. We also have dinner with them once a week if possible, probably every 6 weeks or so we stay there for the whole weekend. We also go on holiday with them. Went camping in July for example.

My parents visit every Thursday for the whole day, stay for dinner and do the bathtime/bedtime routine with the dc. We try and see them at the weekends too if possible. Now that she's at school and doesn't have the whole day with them on a Thursday, DD stays at theirs overnight one night in every school holidays as well. We also go on holiday with my parents for a week every March.

[PinkSoccerMum]

Meant to add PILS only live 40 minutes away I wish they were more involved with DS but it has taken 7 years to get this far.

[Iggly]

ILs every weekend.

My mum, they've met her 2-3 times in their short lives (oldest is 3)

[Crikeyblimey]

We don't have either of my parents anymore (dad died 31 years ago, so ds never knew him, mum died earlier this year - before then ds saw her once a week for an hour or so). Pils live 300 miles away, so we go for the weekend about 5 times a year.

[flossy101]

My parents twice a week. DH parents once a week.

[NellyBluth]

My parents every fortnight, though a few of those times have been 2-3 night stays, a few times on her own (9mo). They do only live a 45 min drive away. MiL has seen her 5 times, FiL about half a dozen but has just done his first time looking after her alone.

On the reverse side, my SiL hasn't even acknowledged the existence of DD

Do you feel you DCs will miss out by not having a close relationship? Do they have other people in their life who fulfill a similar role?

But YANBU.

[barbie1]

Twice a year maybe three at a push, one of the downsides of living an expat life

[Sexyfothermucker]

Some of you are so lucky. I feel so sad that my own parents just don't seem to be interested in my dc.
I've tried to speak to my mum about how I feel before but I end up being upset and feeling like I'm in the wrong.
This started when I had my second ds. My mum and dad used to watch his older brother for me every Sunday while I worked ( my dh works shifts so only gets one in every 3 weekends off) then when I had ds2 my dad told my mum he didn't want to be tied up every weekend (1 day) with children as he wanted to spend his only day off with my mum. This left me up shit creak without a paddle and I had to leave my job. Fast forward to now, and this is how it is. Feel so

[HopeThisIsRight]

DS sees my parents 2-3 nights a week but speaks to them everyday on telephone. He sees DH's parents 1-2 times a year (they live 200 miles away though)

[DioneTheDiabolist]

Do your parents work OP?

[GwennieF]

We see DH's folks every week, sometimes more.

My DF hasn't seen them for 18 months and DM not for a year; DS is 3 and DD is 2, so they've missed quite a bit of their lives so far. They do live abroad but come to see my DSis's and DB's kids several times a year. It would appear that the NE is too difficult to get to.... or that they can't be arsed - one of the two!

[madwomanintheattic]

Paternal gp's twice a year, maternal gp's once every two years.

It all works out fine. Nice for you that they were able to offer so much support when ds1 was tiny.

[peppapigpants]

Mine only have one set of grandparents, other grandad died before I met their dad, and grandma died when they were 7 and 5. My parents see them about 2-3 times a year and we live 250 miles apart. My mum came up 3 weeks ago and that was the first time we had seen her since March. We haven't seen my dad since March as he's been working away since May.

My sister lives ten miles from my parents...I haven't seen her or spoken to her since last Christmas, and won't do until the next time we visit my parents (which won't be this Christmas, so might not be until next summer).

[ATourchOfInsanity]

There's only my dad as Exp's family haven't met her and live abroad and, at the moment, he is pretending she doesn't exist...
So she sees my dad every month or so, for a weekend. Not enough really IMO!

[Sexyfothermucker]

Nellybluth there is nobody else who can take this role on, as it were. My dh mum doesn't bother with them either. She's too wrapped up in her dog and the granddaughter she so desperately wanted. (When I had my eldest she whispered "can we swap him for a girl)

I don't think they're missing out, but their friends talk about stopping over at their grandparents house. I just wonder what goes through their little minds

[madwomanintheattic]

Maybe just get a childminder if you want to work? I can understand them not wanting to have such a committed timetable themselves- however much they love their gs's that essentially makes their care a second job, not a treat.

[Minshu]

PIL, 200 miles away, every couple of months for an overnight stay at theirs or they have a weekend with us. My Gran for an hour or two every couple of months as she's in a residential home 200 miles away in a similar direction to PIL, so we detour to visit her when visiting PIL.

My Dad and DSM, not often enough as they are 3000 miles away, but have spent a fortnight with them twice in 3 years.

My Mum died 18 years ago, and she would have been a lovely Granny.

[Glittertwins]

My parents see them pretty much every month, outlaws barely once every 3 months despite living a lot closer than my parents and them having loads of friends in the area that they are always over here to see (used to be very local). They don't seem to want to bother with inconvenience of us.

[Sexyfothermucker]

My dm works 3 days a week. My dd full time but has weekends off. Both are 9-5.

[PoppyScarer]

How old is your DC2, OP?

My Dad just isn't a baby person (me neither, TBH) and my DPs have been a bit distant in the year or so since he was born. They also had stuff going on in their lives.

BUT they came to see us last week and my Dad seemed genuinely happy to be around DC2 now he's a toddler. He even offered to help with the DCs again - and my DPs have not offered to do that since DC2 was born. They used to babysit DC1 for us regularly (once a month) so we could have a date night before DC2 was born. I think my Dad just finds babies too difficult.

To answer your question, my DPs see the DCs about once a month, which feels right. My PILs push for this to be more often, so with them probably every 2-3 weeks. Which borders on me feeling a bit twitchy, TBH.