I found out yesterday that I?m pregnant, and this was totally unplanned and bad timing. I?m about 2 weeks pregnant. I have an appointment tomorrow to find out for sure how far I am.
Background: I?ve been dating DP for 5 months. I genuinely love and care for him. He already has a 3 yr old DS to his XP and has to travel 1 hour to pick him up. I live even farther away from his son. The reason he?s living in this area is because of his son. His family lives 5 hours away. Prior to yesterday, we?ve talked about marriage and children. I already made plans to spend the Christmas holiday with his family and son. We made these plans a couple months ago. We?re very sure we want to be together. We have plans to travel, marry, etc.
When I told him yesterday that I was pregnant (via phone), his immediate response was that he would 100% support whatever choice I make. Later, when he came to my house, I asked him his preference. He told me he wanted me to get an abortion. He feels like our timing is completely off. He made the point about how our living situations don?t coincide right now, he has to worry about being close to his 3-year-old son, and that we don?t have family support. As I said, his family lives 5 hours away, and I was raised by my grandparents who are too elderly to watch a baby (we both hold full time jobs). He pointed out that we had plans to travel, marry, etc. I agree with all that.
DP doesn?t see anything inherently wrong with abortion being that I?m only 2 weeks. He said he sees it as a mass of cells and not a child at this point.
I agree that the timing couldn?t be more awful. I wanted to marry and make his son my stepson. I wanted to build a life together and have children later. The thought of having a child right now terrifies me.
I can?t help seeing the pregnancy as a child, though. I feel like an abortion would be wrong. I don?t know how I could ever feel like I deserve another child if I would abort this one.
I?m really struggling, though, because the last thing I want to do is bring an unwanted child into the world. I know he doesn?t want this baby at this point in our relationship. I grew up without a father. I don?t want to force him into a situation he doesn?t want to be in. Plus, our relationship is so new. I know this is legally my choice, but I feel he should have a say in this, too. He keeps telling me over and over that he will support my decision. I just don?t know what to do.
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Relationships
unplanned pregnancy and don't know what to do.....
93 replies
lemoncookie · 03/10/2012 15:35
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