I've been reading lots of threads in the relationship section, including the one on 'red flags'.
I'm trying to look back to the early days with my H to see if there were any red flags that I ignored or missed but there is honestly nothing.Â
He never, ever loses his temper. I can scream and shout, even throw things and he stays very calm and controlled. He never breaks things or destroys my belongings. He makes huge efforts with my family and friends. They all think he is really nice, one of the good guys.Â
He doesn't control my money, or restrict what I do.Â
He is never jealous, to the point where it's a bit weird.Â
Even my cpn thinks he is perfect. He has actually described us as the perfect little family.Â
But he assaulted me when I slept and even took photos. Â
I now I found thd courage to end it I find myself estrange from my family and I've lost contact with my friends.Â
And he won't fucking go away. He keeps coming round to 'see the kids' but he'll start making a meal or doing the dishes.Â
It's like he's trying to make himself Indispensable.Â
He talks and acts like we are still a family.Â
There's lots of other little things too and it's really messing with my head. I'm starting to doubt myself. Did I over react to things?
Plus people who know we've separated keep  going on about how bloody nice he is. And I can't tell them what he really did. I've really struggled with poor mental health over the past 3 years and my sister has actually intimated that she thinks the reason I've ended my marriage is because I'm having another break down :(Â
I don't know what I'm doing.Â
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody
Relationships
Am I getting this all wrong? Can't see any red flags.
MissJayTea · 01/10/2012 06:58
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