Just had a horrible Weekend with DP, again left feeling angry, frightened for the future. In a nutshell DP suffered a nervous breakdown earlier this year and is now on AD's, it been a pretty bad 8 months tbh and really has taken its toll on me. The issues have always been with him, lack of self esteem, self hatred culminating in complete melt down. Anyway thought the meds were helping and things were getting on an even keel. But recently found a message on his mobile phone "saying loved having tea, come again soon xx" I did challenge him @ the time and he said it was a client, I said I thought it was an odd thing for a client to send this. Anyway fast forward to Saturday night, must admit I got a bit drunk (nothing to be proud of but there you go) and I brought up this stupid phone message and it turns out he has repeatedly been lying because it was not a client but woman he knows from the workplace ( she really is not a very nice person), he said there nothing in it at first, basically I did not believe him, eventually he admitted that they had a good chat, she took his mobile to put her number in and then came to his workshop to offer sex a couple of days later( she does this with anyone in trousers from what I hear). Anyway I digress, I actually don't think he has done anything but it is the deceit and the lies. He also told her about very intimate things is has just made me see red as I was not "allowed" to discuss this with anyone. He also made a point of saying that he is propositioned all the time. I had enough of listening to his crap and went to bed. Sunday morning he starts on me again, literally going over top, saying I am always accusing him of having affairs ( I don?t) telling me I am always being unfaithful ( we have been tog 18 years and I have never been unfaithful) calling me horrible names and accusing me of being a control freak, he then fucks off for 3 hours with the dogs. I was hoping he would calmer when he got back but no starts again, saying I don't let him do anything, he is not my puppy dog, god this sounds ridiculous. Basically I could even look at him after this last outburst and spent to rest of the day ignoring him. This morning he has gone to off gone to work and kissed me on the cheek like nothing has happened. I just don't what to believe anymore, I feel sick. Is it the illness of is he just him being a horrible bastard, none of this makes any sense anymore
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