I finally realised tonight that H will not do anything to try and keep what we have.
He will let us spiral into debt, expect me to go and get a new job so that we can stay in our current house, not do anything to help our DD stay at her current school, not find another job with better pay or try to get more hours in his current job. It is like he is playing chicken with me, calling my bluff and waiting for me to lose my nerve and make everything better again; like I have for the last 9 years.
But tonight I finally realised that H will never actually do anything for us. He is never going to remember when my birthday is or what year we got married or bother to buy me a Valentines Cards or an anniversary card unless DD asks him to. He will continue to get our DD to buy and wrap up Christmas presents for him becuase he says he's no good at it, he will only ever top up his phone when I or DD offer to do it for him. He is never going to remember the date of his Dad's or younger brother's birthdays.
At no time in the future is H going to stop getting angry with our DCs for the smallest and most ridiculous of transgressions. He is never going to start a conversation with me about whether I think they will go to university let alone actively contribute to planning for it, financially or otherwise. He will always insist that DD is wrong anytime she has an opinion. He will never let me have any sick time without immediately taking to his bed afterwards in retaliation. He is never going to weed the garden, fix the shower, mend the back door step, move the shed; despite all of the promises he has made. He is never going to book a surprise meal out for me or make friends that we can socialise with together. He is never going to suggest and book a trip to the theatre for us, read a book together in bed, want to have a dog or come on long hikes with me in the pouring rain made better by an afternoon spent in a dry, cosy pub.
I have realised tonight that although he tells me every day that he loves me, he has no intention of ever caring for me.
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody
Relationships
We're going to lose it all, H is just playing chicken with me and I'm so sad
dizzykizzy · 30/09/2011 22:30
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